Seeking Ireland's Mystical Past – 15 September 2024

I have just returned from a tour of the Hill of Uisneach – pronounced “Weeshnock”.   The Hill of Uisneach is literally at the geographical of the island of Ireland.  Because everywhere in Ireland is enveloped in ancient myths and legends, it logically follows that myths and legends about Uisneach lie  as thickly around it as the mist which can spring up from nowhere at any time or place wherever you are in Ireland.  Like all Irish legends and myths, those surrounding Uisneach are full of implausible, impossible events and insofar as any aspects of them can be checked “scientifically”, I suspect they might even be true.

Take the claim that Uisneach is at the geographical centre of Ireland.  Every legend about Uisneach makes this claim and this has been at the heart of Uisneach legends since long before Christianity started in about 33 AD.  Recent research on the geography of Ireland places the geographic centre of the island about 1.5 miles (2.4 kilometres) away from the top of the Hill of Uisneach.  Given the changes in the coastline over the last few thousand years, Uisneach was almost certainly located at the geographic centre of Ireland when it was first “surveyed” by the ancient “primitive” inhabitants of Ireland.

Supposedly, the High King of Ireland had the duty of going to Uisneach and creating a mystical bond between him and the land itself.  By creating this bond, the High King established balance in the country and helped create prosperity for his people.  If the King failed in this compulsory royal duty, he could expect to be stabbed in the foot and have his throat cut.  The High King was not permitted to hold his ceremony in a private fashion though.  He had to do it publicly and this meant he had to invite all of the most important big wigs to the ceremony and give them a right royal time – before, during and after the ceremony.  The High King had to pay for all this feasting out of his own pocket and if he didn’t do the job properly, it would be obvious that he was unfit to be the High King – and that meant stabbing in the foot followed by a throat cutting ceremony.

All this may sound like just another pile of Irish tall story telling – bullshit to use an Australian slang expression – except that reputable archaeologists have done excavations all over the top of the Hill of Uisneach.  Guess what they found?  Everything they dug up revealed that the pile of Irish tall story telling was backed up by all of the archaeological digging.  There really once was a royal building on the top of Uisneach.  The diggers actually found the skeleton of one of the High Kings who the legends said had behaved badly and found out the hard way why it was an exceptionally bad idea to behave badly.  And no, Uisneach is definitely not a place littered with ancient bones.  It cannot by any stretch of the imagination be classified as an ancient cemetery.

In the year 2024, Uishneach is a working farm.  You cannot just turn up and take a stroll up the hill.  If you did turn up and trespass, you would annoy the cattle and interrupt the workings of a farm which helps to put food in the stomachs of the people who are guided through Uisneach by guides who know all of the myths and legends and who know how to tell them in the most interesting way possible.

I went to Uisneach today and expected to be mildly entertained for about an hour.  Instead of being mildly entertained, I was enthralled as our guide told us the stories while leading us up what was a mild hill that anyone of moderate fitness should be able to walk up. 

Two monuments stand out at Uisneach.

The statue of the head of Eire, Founding Goddess of Ireland looks at first glance to be overgrown by ivy – but it is not.  When you look more loosely you realise that the ivy growing all over the massive statue of Eire’s head, is a densely growing head of hair.  Unlike most of us, Eire will never start to lose her hair.

Whereas the statue of Eire was made by a talented Irish artist, the second outstanding monument at Uisneach was made by the Earth itself.  The magical rock at the crown of Uisneach was left there by massive movements of the land on which it now stands.  It is of course, a sacred rock.  The sacred rock of Uisneach watches benevolently as the bonfire is lit at the very centre of the country at midnight on the last day of winter.  The Irish month of Imbolc commences immediately after what we now call 28 February.  The bonfire on top of Uisneach was always lit to tell the people that the long days of winter were coming to an end.  The bonfire on top of Uisneach could be seen for many miles around Uisneach.  Other bonfires were placed strategically in circles radiating out from Uisneach and ere lit when the Uisneach bonfire was lit.  In this magical manner, every corner of Ireland was told that winter was finally being shown the door and the shivering would soon come to an end.

The tours of Uisneach take place on a weekly basis in the milder seasons.  The bonfire signalling the start of Imbolc takes place only once a year on the evening of 28 February.  The Imbolc bonfire is a healing event. 

Uisneach is a place for healing.  I am glad I went there.  I hope my own healing will soon start.