19 - Our Magical Marriage in 2009: 17 September 2024
This is an exact copy of the booklet Maeve prepared for our magical handfasting marriage ceremony that took place immediately after our official legal marriage in Ireland on that wonderful day in July 2009. Apart from my brother Bill, every other person named in the pamphlet cancelled me and Margaret long before Margaret died.
Although Maeve created most of what was incorporated into our Handfasting Ceremony, I inserted some words of my own that I wrote just for that day – these were words I everyone to hear me saying out loud. My poem The Colours of Love was both an affirmation of love and a surprise for Margaret. I wrote The Colours of Love in Adelaide specifically for our Handfasting Ceremony and I emailed it to Ireland so it could be incorporated into our ceremony. In the morning before the wedding, I worried that Margaret might look more closely at the Handfasting Ceremony pamphlet prepared by Maeve and see my unannounced inclusion. Luckily, she was distracted and did not notice it. This meant my “surprise ambush” of Margaret was completely successful. I read my poem aloud as we made our Handfasting Ceremony vow in public at Kilashee House.
The Handfasting Ceremony took place inside Kilashee House in the
same room where our Civil Marriage took place and it immediately followed our
first marriage.
The Handfasting Ceremony took place just like this.
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Margie and John Thursday 30th July 2009 Handfasting Ceremony  Ceremony Participants Bride: Margie
Redden Groom: John Hankin Blessing
Ceremony: Conducted by Maeve O'Byrne Readings: Sue Kinnear (Chapman) Mick Martin
Peter Hussey Remembrances Margaret Hankin Handfasting Anne Ryan Bill Hankin Singers Caitriona Ni
Fhlaithearta Tommy
McCormack Flower Girl Saidhbh
Dalton **** Introduction:
Maeve O'Byrne We welcome
Margie and John's family and friends to this Handfasting Ceremony today. In
this short Ceremony we will hear some readings, poetry, songs and words of
wisdom on love and the state of matrimony. We will also recite some blessings
from a number of ancient spiritual traditions for the couple and for all of
us gathered here on this joyful occasion. The Lighting of
the Candles: Margie and John and Gathering Maeve: Before
we start, we invite Margie and John to light their candles symbolising their
individuality and the light they bring to each other. We also
invite each one of you to Light a candle for Margie and John to bless them on
this day. Opening Sacred Space Now we ask
all of you to join with us to open a sacred space in which to surround and
enfold Margie and John as they pledge their vows to each other. To do this I
ask you to stand and face each of the four cardinal directions and stretch
out your right hand as I call in the light and gifts of each. After we have
called in each direction you may respond with the word 'Ho' which comes from
the Native American Tradition and Like 'Amen' simply means 'Let it be so'. South Maeve:
Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of South, Great Serpent. Wrap your coils
of light around us. Teach us to shed our past as you shed your skin. Teach us
to walk gently upon the earth. We invite you
to our circle to bless Margie and John and all of us gathered here today.
West
North Maeve:
Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of North/ Council of
the Mountains, Hummingbird/ Grandmother and Grandfathers, Ancient Ones who
have gone before. We Response: Ho East Maeve:
Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of East, Great Eagle, come to us from over
the mountains. Teach us to fly with the Great Spirit. We invite you to our
circle to grant us Maeve: I ask
a blessing on Margie and John, may strength and constancy be theirs for as
long as they desire to be together. (Maeve
anoints their hands with olive oil) May they be
granted the deepest of love, health of body and richness of soul and spirit.
May the bonds that join them, tie them together strongly yet let them be
borne lightly. (Maeve walks
around couple three times sprinkling blessed water) The Colours of Love: John Hankin Margie's
dominant colour isn't red, Although her
name says she is The Red One. Muted red
hues do surround her. The deep ruby
in her nails is always there. So too is the
glow of her hair, Even if it
does need assistance now and then. The slow red
burn of her heart can't be denied either. Its gentle
shine brings the warmth of a woman incapable of anything but love. Her red
colours reflect the reality of who she is. But despite
the touches of red Margie's
dominant colour isn't red at all. Have you ever
noticed the soft hum of the blue that surrounds her? Have you ever
noticed the golden yellow envelope she walks Have you ever
noticed the gentle green of the Irish in her walk? Well I have. The blue of
the sky came first from Margie. The sun's
golden aura was born in the arms of her Love. The grassy, green carpet wasn't
there until it spilled out from her heart. My wife is a
swirl of colour, She is always
gentle, always warm. The colours
of Love surround her, Moving with
the rhythm of her life, Moving with
the rhythm of our love. How does she
do this? She says she
does nothing, But the
colours of her love cannot be denied. I don't care
how she does it. Why would l? For I am
blessed by the colours of her love. Mick
Martin Old hopes,
new laughter, shared fears. The adventure
has just begun And may your
days be good and Long upon the earth. A Blessing: John O'Donohue May you
Listen to your Longing to be free. May the
frames of your belonging be Large enough for the dreams of your soul. May you arise
each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart That
something good is going to happen to you. May you find
a harmony between your soul and your life. May the
mansion of your soul never become a haunted place.
May there be
kindness in your gaze when you Look within. May you never
place walls between the light and yourself. May your
angel free you from the prisons of guilt/ fear, disappointment and despair. May you allow
the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you, mind you and embrace
you in belonging. Wild Geese: Peter Hussey Mary Oliver You do not
have to be good. you do not
have to walk on your knees for a hundred
miles through the desert, repenting. You only have
to Let the soft animal of your body love what it
Loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the
world goes on. Meanwhile the
sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the
prairies and the deep trees, the mountains
and the rivers. Meanwhile the
wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading
home again. Whoever you
are, no matter how lonely, the world
offers itself to your imagination, calls to you
Like the wild geese, harsh and exciting- over and over
announcing your place in the family
of things. Song in Irish: Caitriona Ni Fhlaithearta Translated by John McKenna Se Fäth Mo Bhuartha A Song of Longing for my Lover. It saddens me
greatly that I cannot see my love, in
the glen where she lives, at all. There is
honey aplenty, fresh butter and cream there and the trees
are in flower 'till the leaves start to fall. There is no
harsh wind there, no hard winter snow, it lies in a
bay with a harbour so deep, a valley of
plenty with roads that wind gently. I wish I were
there to watch my lover sleep. My love and
my sweetheart/ your mouth smiling softly, all I ever
want is to have you beside me. There's never
an evening or a day the sun rises. that you're
not the bright shining star in my eyes.
Walking the
plains and deep woods full of fruit, I'm closer to
you than I am to the rest. All I want is
to wed you, my sweet, darling lover, to Lay my
hand on your smooth/ gentle breast. Sé Fäth MO Bhuartha Sé fåth mo
bhuardhartba nach bhfaghaim faill uaire ort San geanntån
uaigneach ag a mbfonn mo ghrådh; Mar
bhfuighinn mil ar luachair ann, im agus uachtar Teacht don
fhuacht bfonn na crainn faoi bhLåth. Ni bhfon
gaoth adtuaidh ann nå sneachta buan ann, Tå caladh is
cuan ann ag Iuing is ag båd/ Tå tuilleadh
buaidh ann, nil turas cruaiche ann, Då dtéigtheå
sfos le do chai[fn mnå. Ni ar shLiabb
n6 ar chibleach atå mo mhian-ra, Acht ar
tha[taibh mine, mar a mbionn meas is blåth; Bionn an
chuach ag glaodhach ann ar bharra craobh ann, Tå
cruithneach mhaol ann, agus coirce bån; Bionn an
t-uan 's an Iaogh ann, 'is na bric in-a scaoith ann, Tå an eala is
aoibhne ar an Loch ag snåmh; Tå an bheach
ch6mh crfonna 's go bhfuil a hårus lionta, Agus mil då
taomadh ag mo mhuirnfn bån. Is aoibhinn
Corr Shliabh I dtås an gbeimhridh,Ni bhionn leac oidhre
air, nå sneachta a dtuaidh; Is ceolmhar
traon ann, an chuach, 's a' Iondubh, Mbarraidh
coillte ins an dui[leabhar ruadh. Is binn guth
gadhar ann ag t6rnuidheacht eilite, Is an fiadh
'san am sin ag ar siubhaL 'S gur Leat a
chintear in sach sruth g[an aibhne Go mbfonn an
bradån finn-gheal 's an breac ar 16th. Déanfainn mtéagnach
[eat-sap a chéad ghrådh/ Då mearfainn
féin go mbéadh maith dhamh ann, Mar is tå do
réab mo chroidhe 6 chéile, Agus d'fhåg
na néalta-sa thrfd mo cheann. A mhaighdean
bhéasach na ma[af chaoLa, 'S na gcurcån
gh[égeal atå fåinneach fionnm TrialL domi
fhéachaint agus mé I n-éagcruasv 'S beidh
beannacht Dé dhuit go bråth då chionn. Remembrances: Margaret Hankin We are all
visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose
here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to Love. . . and then we return home.'
Australian Aboriginal Proverb We remember
the ancestors of Margie and John who Left these shores many years ago.
We invoke the
memory of that love and the joy of memories and laughter shared to bless them
on their special day.  (Arone Meeks: Spirit Ark) Handfasting Ceremony Maeve: Now I would like to invite Anne and
Bill to step forward to bind the cords for the Handfasting and I invite
Margie and John to Look into each other’s eyes. Maeve: Margie and John; know now before you
go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life, you have formed
eternal and sacred bonds. As you seek
to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals
that to you, give meaning to this ceremony and to the institution of
marriage. With full awareness,
know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be
handfasted before your friends and family but you speak that intent also to
your higher powers. The promises
made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union and
will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth. Maeve: Do you still seek to
enter this ceremony? Margie and
John: yes, Maeve: Margie and John, will you
honour and respect one another, and never seek to break that honour? Margie and
John: We will. [The first
cord is draped over the couples' hand] Maeve: And so the first binding is made. Will you
share each otherts pain and seek to ease it? Margie and
John: We will. [Second cord
is draped over the couples’ hands.] Maeve: And so
the second binding is made Will you face
your challenges equally so that your spirits may grow in this union?
[Third cord
is draped over the couples' hands] Maeve: And so the third binding is made. Will you
share each other's laughter, and[ look for the brightness in life Margie and
John: We will [Fourth cord
is draped over the couples' hands] Maeve: And so
the binding is made. I now invite you to make your wedding vows to each
other. [Tie cords
together] Exchange of Vows Margie and
John: You cannot
possess me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish it/ Igive you that
which is mine to give. You cannot command me for l am a free person. But I
shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste
sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the eyes into
which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the
first bite from my meat and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my
living and my dying each equally in your care. I shall be a shield for your
back. I shall not slander you. I shall honour you above all others, and when
we quarrel/ we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grievances.
This is my wedding vow to you. This is the marriage of equals. Maeve: Margie and John, as your hands are
bound together Above you are
the stars and below you is the earth. I will now
untie your hands, symbolising your willingness to stay together of your own
free will. (Maeve unties
cord) your wisdom,
your vision and your inspiration. We ask you to keep Margie and John under
your great wing. Response: Ho Mother Earth Maeve: Mother Earth we are your children and
we walk on your belly, We ask for blessings for all your creatures: for the
stone people; the plant people; the two Legged and the four legged; the
furred/ the finned and the feathered - all our relations. We ask you to bless
Margie and John and all here with your healing and your bounty. Response: Ho Father
Sky/Great Spirit Maeve: Grandfather Sun, Grandmother moon,
Star Brothers and Sisters, Great Spirit you who have a thousand names and you
who are unnameable. Jesus Christ the first Shaman. We thank you for allowing
us to sing the song of Life another day. We thank you for Margie and John and
for their life and love and for the life and love of all of us in this
circle. Response: Ho Maeve: Margie and John have already pledged
their vows Wedding Braids: Sue Kinnear From the Apache Wedding Ceremony May the sun
bring you new strength by day May the moon
softly restore you by night. May the rain
wash away your fears And the
breeze blow new strength into your being. May you, all
the days of your life, Walk gently
through the world And know its
beauty. May you feel
no rain, for each of you will shelter the other, May you feel
no cold for each of you will be the warmth to the other, May there be
no Loneliness for you, for each will be a a companion to the other, Now you are
two bodies, but there is a joint life before you. Go now to
your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness. Your life
stretches behind you, even as the future lies ahead. A long and
winding road/ whose every turning means discovery. Gift for the Bride and Groom: Saidhbh Dalton Maeve: I now invite our youngest
participant, Saidhbh, Margie and John's Flower Girl - previously known as
bump to bring some gifts to the bride and groom. Saidhbh is Maeve: I now invite you all to join with me
in closing our sacred space with a blessing from each direction for Margie
and John. Closing Sacred Space: All South Blessed be
this union with the gifts of the South and the element of fire, for energy,
passion, creativity and the warmth of a Loving home. From the fire
within you may you generate light, which you will share with one another in
even the darkest of times. West Blessed be
this union with the gifts of the West, the element of water, for your
capacity to feel emotion. In marriage you offer absolute trust to one
another, North Blessed be
this union with the gifts of the North, the East
Mother Earth Blessed be
this union with the gifts of Mother Earth. May she bless you with her bounty
and with feasts for the soul and for the table from her stores of plenty, and
may she always restore and heal you and ground you with her love. Father
Sky/Great Spirit Blessed be
this union with the gifts of Father Sky and Great Spirit. May you always be
inspired with wonder as you gaze at the heavens. May your
prayers and blessings be born to the Great Spirit on swift wings. Maeve: Our
Circle is closed we give thanks for the Guardians, Angles and Winds who have
blessed us with their presence. Song: Tommy
McCormack "Those who Lose dreaming are Lost/
(Aboriginal Proverb)  May John and Margie share a dreaming that is everlasting and sweet |
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