Our Magical Marriage on Thursday 30 July 2009

This is an exact copy of the booklet Maeve prepared for our magical handfasting marriage ceremony that took place immediately after our official legal marriage in Ireland on that wonderful day in July 2009.   Apart from my brother Bill, every other person named in the pamphlet cancelled me and Margaret long before Margaret died.

Although Maeve created most of what was incorporated into our Handfasting Ceremony, I inserted some words of my own that I wrote just for that day – these were words I everyone to hear me saying out loud.  My poem The Colours of Love was both an affirmation of love and a surprise for Margaret.  I wrote The Colours of Love in Adelaide specifically for our Handfasting Ceremony and I emailed it to Ireland so it could be incorporated into our ceremony. In the morning before the wedding, I worried that Margaret might look more closely at the Handfasting Ceremony pamphlet prepared by Maeve and see my unannounced inclusion.  Luckily, she was distracted and did not notice it.  This meant my “surprise ambush” of Margaret was completely successful.  I read my poem aloud as we made our Handfasting Ceremony vow in public at Kilashee House.

The Handfasting Ceremony took place inside Kilashee House in the same room where our Civil Marriage took place and it immediately followed our first marriage.

The Handfasting Ceremony took place just like this.

 

Margie and John Thursday 30th July 2009 Handfasting Ceremony   Ceremony Participants Bride:                                    Margie Redden Groom:                                  John Hankin Blessing Ceremony:              Conducted by Maeve O'Byrne Readings: Sue Kinnear (Chapman) Mick Martin Peter Hussey Remembrances                         Margaret Hankin Handfasting Anne Ryan Bill Hankin Singers Caitriona Ni Fhlaithearta Tommy McCormack Flower Girl Saidhbh Dalton   **** Introduction: Maeve O'Byrne We welcome Margie and John's family and friends to this Handfasting Ceremony today. In this short Ceremony we will hear some readings, poetry, songs and words of wisdom on love and the state of matrimony. We will also recite some blessings from a number of ancient spiritual traditions for the couple and for all of us gathered here on this joyful occasion. The Lighting of the Candles: Margie and John and Gathering Maeve: Before we start, we invite Margie and John to light their candles symbolising their individuality and the light they bring to each other. We also invite each one of you to Light a candle for Margie and John to bless them on this day.   Opening Sacred Space Now we ask all of you to join with us to open a sacred space in which to surround and enfold Margie and John as they pledge their vows to each other. To do this I ask you to stand and face each of the four cardinal directions and stretch out your right hand as I call in the light and gifts of each. After we have called in each direction you may respond with the word 'Ho' which comes from the Native American Tradition and Like 'Amen' simply means 'Let it be so'. South Maeve: Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of South, Great Serpent. Wrap your coils of light around us. Teach us to shed our past as you shed your skin. Teach us to walk gently upon the earth. We invite you to our circle to bless Margie and John and all of us gathered here today. Response: Ho West Maeve: Guardian Spirits. Angels and Winds of West/ Mother Jaguar. Teach us to walk in peace to live impeccably. We invite you to protect our circle today and ask you to protect Margie and John as they join their lives together Response: Ho North Maeve: Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of North/ Council of the Mountains, Hummingbird/ Grandmother and Grandfathers, Ancient Ones who have gone before. We invite you to warm your hands and our circle to witness the love of Margie and John. Response: Ho East Maeve: Guardian Spirits, Angels and Winds of East, Great Eagle, come to us from over the mountains. Teach us to fly with the Great Spirit. We invite you to our circle to grant us Maeve: I ask a blessing on Margie and John, may strength and constancy be theirs for as long as they desire to be together. (Maeve anoints their hands with olive oil) May they be granted the deepest of love, health of body and richness of soul and spirit. May the bonds that join them, tie them together strongly yet let them be borne lightly. (Maeve walks around couple three times sprinkling blessed water)   The Colours of Love: John Hankin Margie's dominant colour isn't red, Although her name says she is The Red One.   Muted red hues do surround her. The deep ruby in her nails is always there. So too is the glow of her hair, Even if it does need assistance now and then.   The slow red burn of her heart can't be denied either. Its gentle shine brings the warmth of a woman incapable of anything but love. Her red colours reflect the reality of who she is. But despite the touches of red Margie's dominant colour isn't red at all.   Have you ever noticed the soft hum of the blue that surrounds her? Have you ever noticed the golden yellow envelope she walks Have you ever noticed the gentle green of the Irish in her walk? Well I have.   The blue of the sky came first from Margie. The sun's golden aura was born in the arms of her Love. The grassy, green carpet wasn't there until it spilled out from her heart. My wife is a swirl of colour, She is always gentle, always warm. The colours of Love surround her, Moving with the rhythm of her life, Moving with the rhythm of our love.   How does she do this? She says she does nothing, But the colours of her love cannot be denied.   I don't care how she does it. Why would l? For I am blessed by the colours of her love.             Mick Martin Old hopes, new laughter, shared fears. The adventure has just begun And may your days be good and Long upon the earth.             A Blessing: John O'Donohue May you Listen to your Longing to be free. May the frames of your belonging be Large enough for the dreams of your soul. May you arise each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart That something good is going to happen to you. May you find a harmony between your soul and your life. May the mansion of your soul never become a haunted place. May you know the eternal Longing that is at the heart of time. May there be kindness in your gaze when you Look within. May you never place walls between the light and yourself. May your angel free you from the prisons of guilt/ fear, disappointment and despair. May you allow the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you, mind you and embrace you in belonging.   Wild Geese: Peter Hussey Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to Let the soft animal of your body love what it Loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you Like the wild geese, harsh and exciting- over and over announcing your place in the family of things.   Song in Irish: Caitriona Ni Fhlaithearta Translated by John McKenna Se Fäth Mo Bhuartha A Song of Longing for my Lover. It saddens me greatly that I cannot see my love, in the glen where she lives, at all. There is honey aplenty, fresh butter and cream there and the trees are in flower 'till the leaves start to fall.   There is no harsh wind there, no hard winter snow, it lies in a bay with a harbour so deep, a valley of plenty with roads that wind gently. I wish I were there to watch my lover sleep.   My love and my sweetheart/ your mouth smiling softly, all I ever want is to have you beside me. There's never an evening or a day the sun rises. that you're not the bright shining star in my eyes.   Walking the plains and deep woods full of fruit, I'm closer to you than I am to the rest. All I want is to wed you, my sweet, darling lover, to Lay my hand on your smooth/ gentle breast.   Sé Fäth MO Bhuartha   Sé fåth mo bhuardhartba nach bhfaghaim faill uaire ort San geanntån uaigneach ag a mbfonn mo ghrådh; Mar bhfuighinn mil ar luachair ann, im agus uachtar Teacht don fhuacht bfonn na crainn faoi bhLåth. Ni bhfon gaoth adtuaidh ann nå sneachta buan ann, Tå caladh is cuan ann ag Iuing is ag båd/ Tå tuilleadh buaidh ann, nil turas cruaiche ann, Då dtéigtheå sfos le do chai[fn mnå.   Ni ar shLiabb n6 ar chibleach atå mo mhian-ra, Acht ar tha[taibh mine, mar a mbionn meas is blåth; Bionn an chuach ag glaodhach ann ar bharra craobh ann, Tå cruithneach mhaol ann, agus coirce bån; Bionn an t-uan 's an Iaogh ann, 'is na bric in-a scaoith ann, Tå an eala is aoibhne ar an Loch ag snåmh;   Tå an bheach ch6mh crfonna 's go bhfuil a hårus lionta, Agus mil då taomadh ag mo mhuirnfn bån.   Is aoibhinn Corr Shliabh I dtås an gbeimhridh,Ni bhionn leac oidhre air, nå sneachta a dtuaidh; Is ceolmhar traon ann, an chuach, 's a' Iondubh, Mbarraidh coillte ins an dui[leabhar ruadh. Is binn guth gadhar ann ag t6rnuidheacht eilite, Is an fiadh 'san am sin ag ar siubhaL 'S gur Leat a chintear in sach sruth g[an aibhne Go mbfonn an bradån finn-gheal 's an breac ar 16th.   Déanfainn mtéagnach [eat-sap a chéad ghrådh/ Då mearfainn féin go mbéadh maith dhamh ann, Mar is tå do réab mo chroidhe 6 chéile, Agus d'fhåg na néalta-sa thrfd mo cheann. A mhaighdean bhéasach na ma[af chaoLa, 'S na gcurcån gh[égeal atå fåinneach fionnm TrialL domi fhéachaint agus mé I n-éagcruasv 'S beidh beannacht Dé dhuit go bråth då chionn. Remembrances: Margaret Hankin We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to Love. . . and then we return home.' Australian Aboriginal Proverb   We remember the ancestors of Margie and John who Left these shores many years ago. We remember all those who were much beloved by Margie and John, who have gone before them from this realm. We invoke the memory of that love and the joy of memories and laughter shared to bless them on their special day.   (Arone Meeks: Spirit Ark) Handfasting Ceremony Maeve:          Now I would like to invite Anne and Bill to step forward to bind the cords for the Handfasting and I invite Margie and John to Look into each other’s eyes. Maeve:          Margie and John; know now before you go further, that since your lives have crossed in this life, you have formed eternal and sacred bonds. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that to you, give meaning to this ceremony and to the institution of marriage. With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family but you speak that intent also to your higher powers. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union and will cross the years and lives of each soul's growth.   Maeve:                      Do you still seek to enter this ceremony? Margie and John:      yes, Maeve:                      Margie and John, will you honour and respect one another, and never seek to break that honour? Margie and John:      We will.   [The first cord is draped over the couples' hand]   Maeve:          And so the first binding is made. Will you share each otherts pain and seek to ease it? Margie and John:      We will.   [Second cord is draped over the couples’ hands.]   Maeve: And so the second binding is made Will you face your challenges equally so that your spirits may grow in this union?   Margie and John: We will.   [Third cord is draped over the couples' hands]   Maeve:          And so the third binding is made. Will you share each other's laughter, and[ look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other? Margie and John:      We will   [Fourth cord is draped over the couples' hands]   Maeve: And so the binding is made. I now invite you to make your wedding vows to each other.   [Tie cords together]   Exchange of Vows Margie and John: You cannot possess me for I belong to myself. But while we both wish it/ Igive you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me for l am a free person. But I shall serve you in those ways you require and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the eyes into which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my meat and the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and my dying each equally in your care. I shall be a shield for your back. I shall not slander you. I shall honour you above all others, and when we quarrel/ we shall do so in private and tell no strangers our grievances. This is my wedding vow to you. This is the marriage of equals. Maeve:          Margie and John, as your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust. Above you are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars your love should be a constant source of light/ and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow. I will now untie your hands, symbolising your willingness to stay together of your own free will.   (Maeve unties cord)   your wisdom, your vision and your inspiration. We ask you to keep Margie and John under your great wing.   Response: Ho   Mother Earth Maeve:          Mother Earth we are your children and we walk on your belly, We ask for blessings for all your creatures: for the stone people; the plant people; the two Legged and the four legged; the furred/ the finned and the feathered - all our relations. We ask you to bless Margie and John and all here with your healing and your bounty. Response: Ho   Father Sky/Great Spirit Maeve:          Grandfather Sun, Grandmother moon, Star Brothers and Sisters, Great Spirit you who have a thousand names and you who are unnameable. Jesus Christ the first Shaman. We thank you for allowing us to sing the song of Life another day. We thank you for Margie and John and for their life and love and for the life and love of all of us in this circle.   Response: Ho Maeve:          Margie and John have already pledged their vows before the civil and legal powers and they are now ready to do the same in the sight of the higher spiritual powers surrounded by the love of this gathering. They have chosen the ancient Celtic ritual of Handfasting. In this ceremony a cord representing their union will bind their hands together symbolising their love and their future life together. Taking part in the ceremony to tie the cords will be John's brother Bill and Anne, Margie's friend and medicine sister. A handfasting is a declaration of intent/ where the bride and groom clearly state that they are marrying of their own free will. In some traditions the vows could be reviewed and renewed (or not) after a year. Poems and Blessings   Wedding Braids: Sue Kinnear From the Apache Wedding Ceremony May the sun bring you new strength by day May the moon softly restore you by night. May the rain wash away your fears And the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you, all the days of your life, Walk gently through the world And know its beauty. May you feel no rain, for each of you will shelter the other, May you feel no cold for each of you will be the warmth to the other, May there be no Loneliness for you, for each will be a a companion to the other, Now you are two bodies, but there is a joint life before you. Go now to your dwelling place, to enter into the days of your togetherness. Your life stretches behind you, even as the future lies ahead. A long and winding road/ whose every turning means discovery.   Gift for the Bride and Groom: Saidhbh Dalton Maeve:          I now invite our youngest participant, Saidhbh, Margie and John's Flower Girl - previously known as bump to bring some gifts to the bride and groom. Saidhbh is bringing a wreath of rosemary and lavender, associated with weddings since ancient times and a horseshoe for good luck.   Maeve:          I now invite you all to join with me in closing our sacred space with a blessing from each direction for Margie and John.   Closing Sacred Space: All South Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South and the element of fire, for energy, passion, creativity and the warmth of a Loving home. From the fire within you may you generate light, which you will share with one another in even the darkest of times. West Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West, the element of water, for your capacity to feel emotion. In marriage you offer absolute trust to one another, and vow to keep your hearts open in sorrow as well as joy. North Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North, the element of earth/ which provides sustenance, fertility and security. The earth will feed and enrich you, and help you to build a stable home to which you may always return. East Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East and the element of Air, for openness and breath/ communication of the heart, and purity of the mind and body. From the east you receive the gift of a new beginning with the rising of each Sun, and the understanding that each day is a new opportunity for growth. Mother Earth Blessed be this union with the gifts of Mother Earth. May she bless you with her bounty and with feasts for the soul and for the table from her stores of plenty, and may she always restore and heal you and ground you with her love. Father Sky/Great Spirit Blessed be this union with the gifts of Father Sky and Great Spirit. May you always be inspired with wonder as you gaze at the heavens. May your prayers and blessings be born to the Great Spirit on swift wings. Maeve: Our Circle is closed we give thanks for the Guardians, Angles and Winds who have blessed us with their presence. Song: Tommy McCormack "Those who Lose dreaming are Lost/ (Aboriginal Proverb) May John and Margie share a dreaming that is everlasting and sweet