17 - My Love Affair With Margaret, Part 1: 16 September 2024

My love affair with Margaret started in the evening of Saturday 11 July 1998.  It never ended – even when Margaret died

On 11 July 1998, I had been divorced twice and severely savaged by life.  I was told to come to a party by a work colleague and that I was to meet someone, but I was not told who I was supposed to meet.  I first met Margaret that night, but because I was unsure who I had been invited to meet, I had no idea of her name or phone number.  I rang the party host and for Margaret’s name and phone number and rang Margaret.  We talked for an hour on the phone.

Our first date was at an Italian restaurant on Saturday 18 July 1998.  I had selected the restaurant, but I did not know that Margaret was already an honoured guest there.

I parked the car a few doors up from the restaurant and we walked to our first date.  A man and a blonde woman walked past us and I felt Margaret stiffen.

When I asked for our table in the restaurant, the waitress immediately recognized Margaret and insisted on changing our table to one where Margaret would be able to smoke her cigarettes.  You could still smoke in some parts of restaurants in Adelaide in 1998.

Enzo, the owner of the restaurant had been one of Margaret’s patients in the Haematology and Oncology Day Unit which Margaret had started at Flinders Medical Centre.  He and his daughter – our waitress for the night - loved Margaret.  Because I was with Margaret, I too was treated as family that evening.

Being treated by Margaret and by the restaurant staff as a valuable member of the human race was a new experience for me.  It was clear very quickly that this woman with whom I had a date, was very special – and that meant I was special too.  Someone as intelligent and full of life as Margaret would never waste her time on a useless jerk.   I realized I must be more important than I had ever thought I was. 

My new found feeling of self worth increased when Margaret explained why she had reacted at the sight of the couple on the street as we walked to the restaurant.  The male had been her ex husband.  The woman with him had been the blonde he had an affair with before deciding to throw Margaret out of her own home and replace her with the blonde. 

I was far too shy to say it that evening, but I thought it was a very good sign for me indeed.  The ex and his brand new lover had seen her going out on a date with an unknown man.  That part of her past was dumped in the rubbish bin – and I had now the possibility of the first truly deep relationship in the whole of my life.

Throughout that evening, I literally kept getting a double image every time I looked at Margaret – and I looked whenever I thought I could do so without her thinking I was some kind of pervert.

One image of Margaret gave me the likeness of Margret as she physically was – a tall, good looking but not excessively good looking woman in her late 40s.  This image accurately captured her in the flesh as a seemingly unremarkable woman like many others.

Every time I saw this physical image of Margaret, I also saw a second image right alongside the first “ordinary” image.  The second image showed Margaret as she REALLY was.  In this image, Margaret had a soft glow that surrounded her – the aura that you usually see on portraits of saints - but Margaret would have laughed riotously if anyone ever suggested she was a saint.  

Intermingled with Margaret’s soft aura glow, was something I cannot really describe. There was an embodiment of kindness intermingled with the soft aura glow.  This image said very clearly that Margaret was incapable of cheating or deceiving anyone, ever.

I fell deeply in love with Margaret on our very first date and over the next 25 continuous years that I was blessed with her love, I never ceased to be in love with her.  Our mutual love deepened so easily as the years went by.  I trusted Margaret completely in EVERYTHING.  I knew that she would never lie and I knew that her first instinct was always to ensure the welfare of others, with me coming top of her list of priorities. 

I had won the winning ticket in a lottery with a stupendously valuable first prize.  I had fallen in love with the finest human being I had ever met – and miraculously, she loved me every bit as much as I loved her.  I never looked at anyone else after I met Margret.  Why would I ever want to?  Anyone I might imagine playing around with would always suffer from a handicap that could never be overcome.  No one else was Margaret and that meant I could never be interested in any form of relationship with them.

We never really discussed living together. 

It simply happened as naturally as the sun rises and sets every day.

We had driven to Victoria for a holiday weekend on Friday 2 October 1998 and returned to Adelaide late in the afternoon of Monday 5 October.  Torrential rain came down as I drove through roadworks in the Adelaide Hills and Margaret saw my hands shaking from the stress of keeping us safe.  She suggested I pick up some work clothes from my place and spend that night at her place.  I did just as Margaret suggested and I never wanted to leave – so I never did.

After decades of struggle in relationships that created only mayhem for me and those I was living with, I finally met Margaret and discovered my true home.  To my complete delight, my true home was not a place but a beautiful woman called Margaret.  Margaret was my true home.

It took at least two years before the double images of Margaret began to unite in one simple, glorious, glowing image of the woman I loved so completely.  It was so wonderful to finally come home after so many decades of aimless wandering.