12 - Margaret’s Back Story Part 4, Section 1: 13 September 2024

First 2 pages of a copy of a letter I sent to Anne Ryan on 23 January 2023.  It is self explanatory.

 

23 January 2023

John Hankin

Anne Ryan

Re:      Your Behaviour to Margaret

Hello Anne,

I stopped trying to communicate with you when you ignored my text in March 2021 asking you to please come to Margaret’s special birthday dinner on 29 March to celebrate not only her birthday but her apparent miraculous defeat of her cancer.  I thought I would make one final effort at communication today given that Margaret is today in hospital yet again for what I hope is the final operation that she will ever have to endure in this very long running saga of her battle with the cancer that was supposed to see her dead by Christmas 2020 at the absolute latest.  Given Margaret is in hospital as I write these words, I thought I would bring you up to date on what she has been through.  I expect no reply from you and this is definitely the final time that I will ever attempt any communication with you.

Here is a little bit of historical background intended to let you know why I think Margaret is the bravest human being that I have ever known.  You can judge your own actions against Margaret’s actions.  The comparison is not uplifting.

When I last saw you in February 2021, you had arranged to meet me at Margaret and my home, supposedly to discuss my letter to you complaining of your behaviour on Australia Day 26 January 2021.  In fact no discussion took place.  You simply told me thanks for lending you my car for about 15 months, thanks for showing you Morialta Park and you also said you hoped you could still be friends with Margaret.  Then you left in tears.  You left no opportunity for discussion about anything.  I had complained that you had been rude on Australia Day and your response was to “Cancel” me and turn me into a “Non Person”.  The meeting on 8 February had previously been scheduled for a Saturday and you cancelled that earlier meeting because you “remembered” you had a previous engagement.  I presume the cancellation of the earlier meeting was to enable you to talk to someone else (my guess is Chris Reilly or Sue Chapman who then persuaded you that my letter was grounds for my immediate “cancellation”).

Not only was your cancellation of me disastrous for me, it was also disastrous for Margaret.

Margaret’s chemotherapy and radiotherapy started in early December 2020.   The chemotherapy was administered through a plastic bag attached to her arm which pumped the chemotherapy into the region of her heart.  The radiotherapy was administered on a daily basis.  Margaret had 29 doses of radiotherapy, finishing on 20 January 2021.  The chemotherapy bag was removed from her arm on the same day that the radiotherapy was finished – 20 January 2021.  The barbecue on Australia Day was our way of celebrating the conclusion of the cancer treatment.  For the record, the treatment was at best expected to gain her perhaps another 3 or 4 months.  We were both expecting and planning her death.

Your behaviour on Australia Day was a total shock to me.  You were an extremely close friend to both of us.  We had just finished a completely devastating course of cancer treatment for Margaret and we were both physically and mentally exhausted.  As you are aware, I became physically very ill within two days of Margaret’s diagnosis of terminal cancer on 20 July 2020.  You were with me when I nearly died at Morialta Park when I ceased to be able to breathe.

In my letter dated 27 January 2021, I told you that all of my symptoms returned in full force after the barbecue finished.  They returned because of the impact your rudeness that day had on me.  We were both already vulnerable and your actions aggravated that vulnerability many times.  My bad night on the night of the barbecue was not a one off.  My symptoms got significantly worse in the weeks and months that followed.  I think they should have disappeared completely when in mid March 2021, we had the miracle of Margaret’s apparent cure.  The cure meant she did not simply gain some extra time, it looked as if she had completely beaten the deadly cancer.  With that result, my symptoms should have completely disappeared – but they got significantly worse instead.  I believe the worsening of my symptoms was because of your refusal to even answer my text inviting you to her birthday dinner.  From that point onwards, my symptoms went from very bad to deadly.  I had a flare up on the evening of Margaret’s birthday.  The symptoms were so bad I could not go to her birthday dinner.  I could not breathe, my stomach was swollen like a football and I had excruciating coughing.  I believe my symptoms that night were the direct result of your “non response”.

From that point onwards, my life became a grim battle for life.  I doubt many others would have had the determination to keep going and refuse to die.  The simple fact is that I was not about to leave Margaret to battle the cancer on her own.  Me dying would have left her alone at the mercy of the cancer – and that was not something I would ever permit.

By the time I had finished my three separate periods of hospitalisation (4 weeks in total, including one period of 12 hours where I was on continuous oxygen and should definitely have died), I was a physical wreck and Margaret was both a physical and mental wreck.  During my final stay in hospital, my lung capacity was measured as being 42% of “normal” capacity.  I survived and I certainly noticed the complete lack of any interest in my survival from you.  Once I finally got home and was able to begin paying attention to things apart from my own life or death, I noticed that not one of Margaret’s friends except Cheryl Scopazzi ever came to see her any more.  Your idea of remaining friends with Margaret clearly did not involve visiting her in her own home – presumably because the “cancelled Non Person” John Hankin also lives there.  This had a devastating impact on Margaret’s morale.  She had seemingly beaten the cancer, but many of her friends had “cancelled” her as well as me.  I have no doubt I can thank you for ensuring the semi cancellation of Margaret as well as me.

My cancellation became very clear when Heather asked us to attend a birthday dinner at Yeti for Andrew.  You of course, refused to attend because I might be there.   Chris Reilly did attend and he made very clear what he thought of me.  You had obviously shown him my letter to you because he made an obvious reference to it. So at that stage, I was cancelled by you, by Sue and by Chris Reilly.