23 – The Very First Time I Married Margaret: 20 September 2024

Margaret and I actually married each other three times and not just twice; each of our marriages took place in County Kildare, Ireland.

Our very first marriage was dubbed a Bedding Ceremony.  It too was a joyous, fun filled occasion and it happened on Saturday 17 August 2002.

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We had saved to visit Anne Ryan in County Kildare and we arrived in July 2002.  After a period of doing as little as possible, we hired a car to go touring.  Before we started our tour, Anne said she was holding a barbecue on Saturday 17 August and told us to be back by no later than 2.00 pm for the barbecue.  Because Adelaide is located in a desert State, barbecues are common; this meant we did not realise how uncommon barbecues are in Ireland.  It rains so much in Ireland, even in summer, that social events rarely take place outdoors.  This should have told us that Anne was planning something more than a mere “barbecue”.

Naturally, we had a very enjoyable trip journeying around the beautiful country called Ireland.  One of my highlights happened while we were driving from Cashel in County Tipperary to Killarney in County Killarney.  Cashel and Killarney are both in the southwest of Ireland where the countryside is heartachingly exquisite.  This photo shows the wild beauty of this part of Ireland.

 

Descending into a valley from high up, we found a small café right in the middle of this gorgeous, wild countryside.  Stopping for coffee, we saw a carved wooden statue on the road opposite the café.  It was a statue was of a pilgrim gazing downhill into the valley below.  The pilgrim had obviously travelled a long way and still faced a great distance before reaching journey’s end.  Here is my photo of the weary pilgrim.  Since Margaret's death I feel just like that weary pilgrim.

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It rained a lot in the morning of the final Saturday of our trip, but the rain had vanished as we stopped in front of Anne’s house.  When we arrived, Anne was clearly relieved to see us, but maintained the pretence that she was simply holding a barbecue.

Margaret and I were sitting in the backyard when the guests started arriving, but even then Anne kept quiet about the events that were about to unfold.

As the guests arrived, Peter Hussey started bringing stage props out of Anne’s back yard garden shed.  Peter ran a youth theatre company and had access to a large selection of stage props.  First, he draped Margaret with a silly hat complete with a see through veil dropping over her face from the hat brim.  Next, Margaret received a pretend fur coat with a bunch of plastic flowers pinned to her shirt.  I received a bow tie and a coarse woollen jacket that was far too small for me.  Once we had been dressed, Michael Martin disguised as “Father Mick” beckoned us to join him next to a ludicrous oversized wooden armchair.  Until that moment, we had never met Father Mick before.  Matt, another complete stranger, had been given the role of father of the bride and immediately began “lecturing me” about the consequences of any failure to honour my wedding vows.

The barbecue was made of brick and it had lain unused in Anne's backyard for many years.  It fell to pieces when Maeve's husband tried to cook on it.  As is the custom in Ireland, the singing lasted well into the night.  Gosh it was fun and so filled with joy and love.

The totally joyous mock wedding ceremony which took place that day in Anne’s back yard was called The Bedding by our Irish friends.  It was a wonderful occasion for a party.  Margaret and I were stunned, surprised and delighted as The Bedding ceremony unfolded.  The most important element of The Bedding was that we were utterly in love and delighted to be able to announce our love so publicly.  Our happiness that day was immense and it was unmistakable. This photo was taken after the ceremony had ended and the party was in full enjoyment mode.

 

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I wrote this poem to celebrate how Anne had pulled off our surprise Bedding Ceremony.

The Wedding Planner   She only became a Wedding Planner in 2002. We’d clawed through the time zones to holiday in the soft Irish rain. She’d shooed us off in the rental car with a warning to be back. Some friends were coming for a barbeque, so we mustn’t be late.   We followed instructions, Got back as ordered, Marvelled that the rain had stopped. Then it happened, The Bedding of the Decade.   She dressed us up as Bride and Groom, Stars at The Bedding. She beat the competition to be Chief Bridesmaid, Got “Father Mick” to administer The Bedding Vows, Then she strutted around, laughing at the fun, The only bridesmaid with a cigarette pack glued to her back shoulder, Kept in place by that ever so useful bra strap.   Oh Doctor Ryan, what fun we had! What was the meaning of that sash you wore? The one that said “Guess who’s getting married?” Were you giving us a hint?   23 September 2009

 

Anne might have dubbed the 2002 ceremony as a Bedding rather than a Wedding, but as far as we were concerned, this was a genuine marriage joining us in a union from which neither of us would ever seek a divorce.  Nothing could change the fundamental fact that we completely loved each other.  We knew this marriage was forever and there would never be another divorce for either of us.