Blog No. 247 – Leaving The Pit of Despair, Part 2 – 9 May 2025

Blog 246 finished with these words.

There is always hope for every one of us who has lost hope because of what has happened – always.  Go looking for your hope Peter and walk out of the Shadow Lands in which you think you are trapped.  There is no lock on the door of your jail cell; there is not even a jail cell.  You are trapped in an illusion created by your own mind.

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When I took Margaret to Ireland so I could publicly declare my love for her, I knew this was an essential part of giving her a reason to climb out of the Pit.  I knew she needed to physically bathe in the love we shared.  I knew a public declaration of love in the place I knew she loved to visit, would help achieve this.

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Six weeks before our wedding, I thought there was no possibility Margaret would be strong enough to travel to Ireland so I told her I wanted the doctor to examine her and reassure me her health was good enough to make the journey.  The GP lied his head off – and Margaret immediately began to gain strength.  I blessed the GP.

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In this Blog, I will try and help you gain the tools you need to help you climb out of the Pit of Despair.  It is not easy, but it can be done.  

Before any of us can hope for a better life, we must climb out of the Pit.

If we do not climb out of the Pit, our wanderings in the Shadow Lands will never end and we will stay lost even after we die.

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Why am I writing this stuff in my Blogs?

I wrote the reason in my diary on Thursday 1 May 2025.  This is an extract from the diary entry.

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9.00 pm Thursday 1 May 2025 – Rebirth Day 12 Thoughts About Fulfilling My Purpose I have never before given any specific thought to whether I have any particular purpose to fulfill, but I have always tried to help people if I can.  I have always known that everyone matters and that there are no exceptions to this simple (but complicated) rule.  I have sometimes helped others by doing some very complicated and difficult things, and I have done this because I believed I ought to help the people.  It never occurred to me that I might have any underlying purpose. When I have helped others in the past, I have sought nothing in return except my own knowledge that I have done something worthwhile. I have always tried to apply: The least harm rule.  I try to minimise the harm that I cause simply by existing; I am conscious that some harm always happens because of what we do. Wherever possible, I try to do things I believe are undoubtedly good. I try not to be vocal about anything I do.  Knowing I have done something worthwhile is enough reward. **** I am certain there are many people who feel broken whom I may be able to help by telling them that what I have done to try and ensure my own rebirth and this is where I will place my main priority in the immediate future.

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I crystallised my thoughts about Purpose in this sentence.

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope.

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Without hope we will all remain forever lost in the Shadow Lands.

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Like every one of you, I have spent far too much time wandering in the Shadow lands.  

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My world began a slow collapse in 2006 when Margaret became seriously ill for the first time.  In December 2008, she became so ill she was never again able to work.  Margaret was a nurse and soon after she became unable to work, she told me “I am a nurse, that is what I do”.  It was so true.

Because of her health collapse, Margaret became unable to do the one thing that she absolutely needed to do to keep living.  She did not work as a nurse because it was a job and she wanted the money.  Margaret was a nurse because that was the most important part of who she was.

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When she ceased work, Margaret stopped being able to eat and she rapidly lost 30 kilograms.  I watched as the woman I adored became steadily more frail.

When Margaret tried to walk, I began following her so I could catch her when she fell.  She fell often.  She was not drunk.  She had undiagnosed heart fibrillation.

It was a dreadful experience.

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Long before my Margaret was given a cancer diagnosis, she hovered at the very edge of death.

I could not let her die then

If I had let Margaret die back in 2008, her spirit would have been consumed by sadness and failure.  I could not let that happen.

Because every one of us will definitely die, death is not in itself the real enemy.

The real enemy is the despair we gather around us while we are in the Pit.  If we take the despair with us when we die, we load ourselves with an unbearable burden.

I had to ensure Margaret did not take the Pit with her when she died.

We must all ensure we do not take the Pit with us when we die.

Margaret’s death had to be postponed so that when she did die, she would not take the Pit with her.  I had to make sure Margaret was not burdened by the Pit after she died.

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To save Margaret’s life, I had to do what seemed impossible.

I had to give her a reason to climb out of the Pit.

Until I could give Margaret a reason to climb out of the Pit, there was no possibility that she would avoid a truly dreadful death.

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To keep Margaret alive, I tried everything I could think of.  I cooked.  I did every item of the household chores. I bought dvd’s.  I booked us a short holiday in a resort where we could spend a few days away from home.

Everything I tried was a complete failure.

Only one thing enabled me to do the impossible.

I loved Margaret totally no matter what was happening.  This gave her a reason to climb out of the Pit.  

And our love then smiled back at me and helped me climb out of the Pit when I was flung into the very bottom of the Pit.

I know it sounds like corny rubbish, but love really is the key I have used to help both Margaret and me climb out of the Pit of Despair.

I will tell you more tomorrow.