Blog No. 268 – Successfully Dealing With Terrible Situations, Part 4 – 3 June 2025

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Without hope, we remain lost in the Shadow Lands.

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After two weeks sleeping in the Morris Minor, I got a Saturday job at the Queen Victoria Market in Melbourne.  It paid me $8.00 and that was the total money I had available to survive on. $8 counting for inflation would have been $117.40 in 2024 according to the RBA. 

Even in 1969, $8.00 was nothing like enough money to survive on – but because this was all I had to survive on, the $8.00 had to be enough.

So, $8.00 per week was enough.

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Margaret in the morning before we got married for the second and third times – 30 July 2009.  I was overjoyed she had survived the long trip from Adelaide because her health was abysmal.

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Some decades after I had survived being made homeless by mum, I visited her childhood home in Bootle, Liverpool.  Mr Smith had lived next door to mum when she was growing up.  Mr Smith still lived in the same house when I visited in 2002.  Mr Smith remembered mum as a young girl.

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The Liver Building is still the most impressive building in Liverpool.  I stood in front of the Liver Building in 2002.  It was built to house an insurance company.  There are very few parts of Liverpool that instantly attract the label “pretty”.  Liverpool is a gritty town where life can be hard.  Those who live there are inherently kind because their lives have mostly been so very hard.

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Go with a clear, open and receptive spirit, and the universe will not treat you badly.”

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I had bought the Morris Minor on the very day that mum threw me out of home.  To become owner of the car, I had to pay $5.00 per week.

At least for the first two weeks, having the Morris Minor proved to be a blessing because it ensured I had somewhere to sleep.

Once I started working in the Market, I had $3.00 per week to live on after I made the car payment.

Financially, life was hard.

Luckily for me, a friend decided to move out of home and he rented a tiny flat.  He let me live in his flat for zero rent.

I was able to stop living in the Morris Minor and I had somewhere safe to sleep.

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My attendance at lectures was more miss than hit and miss.  I needed to get the degree, but my physical environment was poor – and my morale was even poorer.

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The final exams arrived in the blink of an eye and I had barely attended lectures in any of my subjects.

I needed to pull off at least four miracles if I wanted to graduate with a Bachelor of Jurisprudence.

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I did not read for the exam in Politics.  I decided I would trust what I picked up from the media and hope for the best.

I passed Politics 1.

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I studied hard for Constitutional Law.  I got a copy of the course outline and asked myself what questions I would ask if I was an examiner.  I then wrote out the answers to those four questions.  The exam was “open book” so I could take anything I wanted into the exam.  I knew nothing except what was in my model answers to my model questions.

I passed Constitutional Law even though I needed a mark of at least 62.25% out of the 80 marks available for the exam questions.

Every question I had decided would probably be on the exam paper, was in fact in the exam paper.  I had come out of the exam thinking I might have just passed it. 

Clear thinking, a refusal to panic and simple determination enabled me to pull off the impossible.

I passed Constitutional Law at Monash in 1969.

I studied Constitutional Law once again at University of Adelaide in 1984.  In 1984, I was the top student in the subject and was awarded the Howard Zelling Prize in Constitutional Law.  Howard Zelling was a very eminent South Australian Supreme Court Judge.

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I studied the course outline in Property Law and ignored Professor Jackon’s “Principles of Property Law”.  I could not understand what the professor was trying to say.  I concentrated on the course outline, selected four model questions that I decided were likely to be set in the exam … and hoped.  I knew nothing except what was in my model answers.

I got lucky again.  The questions I had set myself were in the exam and I transcribed my model answers to my own model questions. 

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That left Administrative Law – the only subject where I had consistently attended the lectures.

I was given a Credit for my Administrative Law exam.

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If you are in a terrifying situation, this is my advice.

NEVER panic.

If you panic, you will always fail.

While you are making sure you are not panicking, think through a plan that involves the least work needed to obtain your goal.

Follow your least effort plan to the letter.  

Never deviate from your plan just because you are in a panic and convinced the plan has no chance of success.

You have already worked out that your ONLY chance of success is to follow your plan.  If you are going to fail anyway, follow your plan.  You will at least have a chance if you do that.  If you are going to fail without the plan, there is nothing to lose if you actually follow the plan.

Trust yourself and refuse to panic.

The worst that can happen is that you will fail knowing you have given yourself a chance to pull off a surprise success.

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Terrible situations can be overcome.  Whatever you do, do not panic.

Add meaning to your life by acting with purpose.

When you add meaning to your life, the way out of the terrible situations becomes clearer.

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I will tell you more tomorrow.

Blog 267 – Successfully Dealing With Terrible Situations, Part 3 – 1 June 2025

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Without hope, we remain lost in the Shadow Lands.

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Because I had zero money, I had to continue sleeping in the Morris Minor for the first two weeks after mum threw me out of home.

My most urgent needs were simple enough.

I needed to find a job that enabled me to have at least some money.

I needed to find somewhere to live that I could afford on my income of zero.

I needed to attend my university lectures often enough to be able to pass the examinations at the end of the year and graduate with a degree

I tried not to panic even though my whole being desperately wanted to panic.

Somehow I knew that in this terrible situation, I needed to come up with a plan – and that would be impossible if I panicked.

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I loved Margaret pretty much from the first moment I ever met her.  This photo was taken at Victor Harbor in South Australia when we sneaked out of town for a weekend away.  Margaret was fun loving and so generous with her wisdom and knowledge.  She brought joy to everyone she met.

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The love that Margaret and I shared was complete magic.  I cannot imagine how she could possibly have loved me more or how I could possibly have loved her more.  This photo dates from 1999.

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Even my family loved being with Margaret.  This photo shows me, Margaret and Peter Hankin in 1999.  Could any two people have possibly been more in love with each other?  I had won First Prize in the Mega Lottery and I definitely knew it.

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Go with a clear, open and receptive spirit, and the universe will not treat you badly.”

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In 1969 I was sleeping in my Morris Minor, I was studying third year law at Monash University in Clayton, Victoria and I needed a job that would not prevent me from getting a degree at the end of 1969.

I was 19, I had zero money and I had no idea what I ought to do.

I decided that sleeping in the car worked, so until I found somewhere more permanent to sleep, I would keep sleeping in the car.

As for finding somewhere more permanent, my options were very limited.  I would ask friends to let me sleep at their homes and I did ask.  Unfortunately, most of the people I knew then were still living in their family homes.  Not many parents wanted to have a stray university student sleep on the floor in their son’s bedroom.

I tried attending lectures. It was impossible for me to take in what the lecturers were saying.  I was enrolled in four subjects:

• Politics 1;

• Administrative Law;

• Constitutional Law; and 

• Property Law

I estimated that if I kept up with the news, I ought to be able to pass Politics 1 even if I missed most of the lectures.  I began skipping most of the Politics 1 lectures because I was too mixed up to take in what the lecturers were saying.  In any event, Politics was so boring.

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The lectures in Administrative Law were the usual boring legal lectures, but I was able to force myself to keep going because I sort of understood what the lecturers were talking about.

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Constitutional Law was almost impossible.  I had no idea what the lecturers were talking about and my brain refused to make sense of the subject.

Shortly after I became homeless, I had to submit a written essay on constitutional Law that was worth 20% of the maximum 100% available in the subject.  I submitted nothing.  I understood nothing and I was definitely panicking.  Because I did not submit the assignment, I needed to somehow get my 50% pass mark by getting a much better than average result on my final exam..

I was in big trouble with constitutional law.  I would need a significant miracle to pass the subject – and if I did not pass Constitutional Law, I could not get a degree.

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The lecturer in Property Law was Professor David Jackson who had written a book called Principles of Property Law.  The book was a dense legal work that probably only Professor Jackson was really able to understand.  I certainly had no idea what Jackson was trying to teach me and many of the other students in the lectures seemed to understand as little as me.

The whole concept of property law was impossible for me to grasp – and Professor Jackson’s lectures did nothing to help me understand.  My homelessness was definitely having an impact on my ability to study.

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It was two weeks before I found a job and that job paid $8.00 for working on a Saturday at the Victoria Market.

At about the same time I got a job, a friend found a flat and told me I could share the bedroom with him.  He knew I was unable to pay any rent.

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My situation was still desperate and terrifying, but not quite as bleak as it had been.

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Terrible situations can be overcome.  Try not to panic.

Add meaning to your life by acting with purpose.

When you add meaning to your life, the way out of the Pit becomes clearer.

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I will tell you more tomorrow.

Blog 266 – Successfully Dealing With Terrible Situations, Part 2 – 31 May 2025

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Without hope, we remain lost in the Shadow Lands.

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On that very first night that I was homeless after being thrown out of home by my mother because she wanted money I did not have, I slept in a Morris Minor.  It was uncomfortable and it was scary. But I got through the night.  I found an unlit part of the Monash university campus in which to park the Morris Minor.

I was cold.

I was worried about how to find somewhere to live.

I was worried about how I was ever going to be able to finish my law studies if I did not have somewhere to live.

I was only 19.

I had less than $5.00 in my pocket and in those days, because credit cards had not yet been invented, everything had to be paid for in cash.

I was genuinely in a terrible situation.

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I have remembered another thing apart from the hair where I looked much better in this photo from 1974 than I looked in 1969. In 1969, I weighed about 8 ½ stone (120 pounds or 54.4 kilograms) and I was malnourished.  Australians still used the old British system of weights and measures back then and I weighed well under 10 stone.  By the time this photo was taken in 1974, I had gained weight and I was at least 10 stone (140 pounds, 63 ½ kilograms).

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My mother Josephine Hankin had been mentally ill for many years, but great stigma was attached to the idea of anyone being mentally ill back in 1969.  She was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1973.  She was hospitalized, medicated and given shock treatment (electro convulsive therapy).  She lived the balance of her life (until 2012) in a world where the medication dulled the pain but made it impossible for her to really feel alive.

I wish I could have helped her, but I was only a kid and I knew nothing.

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The biggest difference between me in 1974 and me in 1999 was the presence of Margaret in my life.  Margaret did not have cancer in 1999 and her health was good.  She smoked cigarettes, drank champagne and loved me exactly as I was, complete with every one of my faults.  This was a completely new experience for me.   I loved every moment that I was able to spend with Margaret.

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Margaret and me in 1999.  After not being able to find any place that could ever be called home, I met Margaret and I finally ceased being homeless.  She radiated compassion and love wherever she went. .

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Go with a clear, open and receptive spirit, and the universe will not treat you badly.”

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In 1969 I was studying third year law at Monash University in Clayton, Victoria with the help of a scholarship.  I had finished two years out of a five year course and had started on the third year of study.

Without any warning, I was made homeless by my own mother and thrown out into the cold, wet night.

I slept that first night in a Morris Minor on the grounds of Monash University.

After my night sleeping in the car, I went to the Monash gymnasium building.  There were free showers available in the gym.

What should I do next?  My head was a complete fog and my thinking was confused.  It was so hard to come up with anything that looked vaguely like a plan, but I worked something out.

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I keep stressing the importance of not trying to plan too far ahead, but I had to do some planning then.

In the 1960s, a Bachelor of Laws degree at Monash took five years of full  time study.  My fees for 1969 was covered by my scholarship.  At the end of my third year of full time study, if I passed every one of my examinations, I would be able to graduate with a degree called a Bachelor of Jurisprudence.  If I got the Bachelor of Jurisprudence, I would not have a law degree but I would have a degree.  Back in 1969, having any university degree meant I could get a job that paid more than the factory labouring jobs I had worked at until then.

I set my sights on getting the Bachelor of Jurisprudence.

That became my goal for the year.  

My most immediate goal was to find somewhere to sleep that was safer than the Morris Minor; then I might be able to graduate with the Jurisprudence degree.  Becoming a lawyer would have to wait.  Perhaps one day I could finish and become a lawyer, but right then I needed to survive the nights and try and rescue something out of the disaster mum had created by her greed.

The irony of throwing me out of home was that instead of being able to milk me every time a living allowance cheque arrived, mum would now get nothing.  By being so greedy, she had eliminated getting any money from me.

But the amount paid by the living allowance cheques would never be enough for me to live on if I had to pay rent – even in 1969.

I continued to live in the Morris Minor for the next two weeks.

I told myself each night that I only had to survive that night.  Every other night could wait its turn.

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I finally became a qualified lawyer in a different city and a different State in December 1987 – 20 years and 9 months after I started studying law in 1967.

I did not meet Margaret until 1998.

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Terrible situations can be overcome.  Try not to panic.

Add meaning to your life by acting with purpose.

When you add meaning to your life, the way out of the Pit is unmistakable.

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I will tell you more tomorrow.

 

Blog 265 – Successfully Dealing With Terrible Situations, Part 1 – 29 May 2025

 

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Without hope, we remain lost in the Shadow Lands.

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I have had to deal with some truly terrible situations in my life and I will share some of the strategies I used to survive.

I am very aware that others have successfully dealt with much worse situations than me, but I can only tell the stories of what I have lived through.

My intention in telling you some of these stories is NOT to claim a hero badge, but to try and give you some tools to help you survive your own dark days.

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Many decades ago, I had hair everywhere.  This photo dates from about 1974 when I was about 25 and living in Melbourne.  This version of me lived through the events I am going to tell you about in this Blog.  If you can imagine me with a short “back and sides” haircut and without the beard, you will have a reasonable picture of what I looked like.

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This is a photo of my mother Josephine Hankin (nee Wood) in about 2,000.  She looks completely harmless in this photo (and she was by then) but this radically misrepresents what she was really like in earlier decades.  The events described in this Blog happened in 1969 when she definitely did not need a walking frame.

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This is a photo of me and Cathy Carey (sometimes surnamed Sparks) in about 1974.  Cathy was a great friend and I was an idiot not to have fallen in love with her … but we are all idiots for much of our lives.  Cathy died of a brain aneurism in 1983.

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Go with a clear, open and receptive spirit, and the universe will not treat you badly.”

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In 1969 I was studying third year law at Monash University in Clayton, Victoria.  I had obtained a Commonwealth University Scholarship which paid the university fees and which also paid a living allowance.  The amount of the living allowance depended on how much money mum and dad earned in the previous financial year.  In 1967 and 1968, the living allowance was $85.00 every 2 months.  Mum used to demand that I give her $50.00 out of every living allowance payment and I paid all of my expenses for the next two months out of the remaining $30.00.  I had barely enough money to survive.  I had to buy all of my own clothes, books and stuff like that.

In 1968, mum got a job and my living allowance was reduced to $64.00 every two months.  I had no idea the allowance was going to be cut until I got home from university one evening in April 1969 at about 7.00 pm.

Mum was waiting for me when I got home.

She had (of course) opened my mail and found my living allowance cheque.  She handed the cheque to me and said “I want $50.00 board money tomorrow”.

I took the cheque from her, thinking things did not look good.  I cashed the cheque next day and paid the bills I had to pay.  I had $40.00 left over to give to mum.

When I arrived home, mum was waiting and demanded her $50.00.  I said I could not pay her $50.00 because the living allowance had been reduced and I could not survive for 2 months on only $14.00.

Mum’s response was immediate.  I had to pay her $50.00 and there was to be no argument.  If I did not like living at home, “I knew what I could do.  I could pack up my bags and leave.”

I tried arguing with her, but it was useless.  I had heard the phrase “Pack up your bags and go” so many, many times and in the past I had always knuckled under and accepted whatever she was demanding.  This time she had misjudged me.

There was no possibility of me paying her the $50.00.

The $50.00 she demanded did not exist.

I went into my room, packed a few items of clothing, grabbed a worn out nearly useless sleeping bag and threw the stuff into my car – a tiny Morris Minor.

I drove into the cold and rainy night.  

I had nowhere to sleep. 

I had no money.

Credit cards had not been invented in 1968.

I had been thrown out of my home by my own mother.

I was a full time student at university studying law and I hoped one day to become a lawyer.

I was only 19.

Anyone willing to bet that I would even survive the night would have been risking their money.

I slept that night in my Morris Minor.  I was able to remove the screen between the boot and the back seat.  By curling up my legs and lying across the width of the car, I was able to mostly stretch my legs out.

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Decades later my brother Bill, who also had a scholarship to go to Monash, told me that mum had never demanded that he pay any board money at all out of his living allowance.

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On that night in April 1969, I had no need to think any further ahead than how to survive the night. 

I could not begin to work out a solution for every aspect of the terrible situation I was in, and I did not need to. 

Stripped of the irrelevant factors, on that cold, rainy night I only had to find a way to make it through the night.

I did make it safely through that night.

This is what a Morris Minor looked like (photo from Wiki).  It was tiny.  Wiki gives these dimensions for the Morris Minor.

Dimensions Wheelbase       7 feet 2 inches (86 inches or 2,184 millimetres) Length            12 feet 4 inches (148 inches or 3,759 millimetres) Width             5 feet (60 inches or 1,524 millimetres) Height            5 feet (60 inches or 1,524 millimetres) Kerb weight   0.76 Imperial tons (1,708 pounds or 775 kilograms)

 

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Terrible situations can be overcome.

When you act with purpose, you add meaning to your life.

When you add meaning to your life, the way out of the Pit is unmistakable.

Take things one step at a time.

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I will tell you more tomorrow.