Blog No. 271 – Successfully Dealing With Terrible Situations, Part 7 – 7 June 2025

 

My purpose is to give hope to those who have lost hope. Without hope, we remain lost in the Shadow Lands.

****

When I finished Blog 269, I had just driven my fiancé home after being at the edge of death because of a fever after I got the Hong Kong Flu in 1969.

I caught the Hong Kong Flu three weeks before I was due to sit my final examinations for the Degree of Bachelor of Jurisprudence

I was given a major blessing through catching the Hong Kong Flu.  

My son Chris was conceived during the weekend after I had driven my fiancé home.  My feeble attempt to drive back to the flat had been brushed aside and I was told to sleep it off.

I did sleep a lot … but I was awake some of the time.

****

Margaret and me at my son’s marriage to the stunningly beautiful Mary.

****

Mary and Chris on the wedding day.  It was a typical Australian knock everybody out with heatstroke day and I loved every moment of it.

Another photo of Chris and Mary on the day they married.  When fathers fantasise about the woman they want their sons to marry, they picture someone like Mary.  Just imagine how thrilled I was that day!

****

In the face of fear, choose to be daring, In the face of anxiety, choose to trust, In the face of impossibility, choose to begin In the face of universal misery Minister to every single person, Where there is ignorance, instil knowledge Where there is disillusionment, instil purpose, Where there are multiple reasons to worry,  Instil singleness of heart Where faced with failure, hold fast to hope, When faced with death,  Believe in a living future, Always give the gift that money can never buy Love

****

We do not have to be saints to do the impossible, but we do have to keep going when we want to give up.

****

Go with a clear, open and receptive spirit, and the universe will not treat you badly.”

****

I got the Hong King Flu in the evening of Friday, the 10th of October, 1969.  

****

My fiancée visited me in my tiny flat at the very moment that my body was feeling the effects of the flu.  

I became very ill indeed.

My fever was so high that the sweat kept evaporating from my face and became steam in the air above me.

The only safe way for my fiancé to get home was for me to drive her in my Morris Minor.

To drive her home, I forced the fever to break, I forced my body to stop sweating and got out of bed and drove her for 40 minutes to her home.

Although I banished the fever for just long enough to drive to get my fiancé home, my body collapsed and refused to let me walk once we arrived at our destination.

****

I stayed the weekend.

A few weeks later, I had sat my examinations but did not yet know whether I had graduated with a degree.  Both I and my fiancé did know that we were about to become parents.

We were both aged 20.  

We were very much in love and we definitely wanted to get married, but there was a significant legal issue preventing us from doing what our hearts wanted to do

In 1969, the age when Australian law recognised you as an adult was 21.  Marriage before you hit age 21 was possible – but only if both your parents gave written consent.  You could ask a court to exempt you from needing parental consent, but that was impossible for us.  I couldn’t contribute towards the rent so paying for a lawyer was impossible.

****

Somehow, I had to persuade my mother to sign the papers – but she was the woman who had thrown me out on the streets without any money to my name.  Getting her to agree to anything would not be easy.

****

Terrible situations can be overcome.  Whatever you do, do not panic.

Add meaning to your life by acting with purpose.

When you add meaning to your life, the way out of the terrible situations becomes clearer.

****

I refused to panic.

I confronted my mother with the papers and placed them in front of her, demanding that she sign.

She refused of course.

I refused to let her refuse, asking her if she really wanted her first grandchild to be illegitimate.  In 1969, a heavy social stigma attached to all children who were born outside of marriage.  The everyday swearword “bastard” was used then – and it was cruel.  Although it is still used now, it no longer carries any weight.  A “bastard” was the vile name thrown at children whose parents were not married when they were born.  Yes this word was thrown at children.

Mum gave me a look of pure hatred as she signed the papers.

****

Months later as I waited anxiously for Chris to be born, I read a novel called “The Bastard”.  I have no idea what was in the plot or who wrote it.

I kid you not, as Chris struggled to be born, I was excluded from the birthing room, so I read a cheap novel called The Bastard. Mum would have been furious.  When I told my wife later, she laughed loudly.

****

I will tell you more tomorrow.