79 Amanda: 1 November 2024

One of the finest friends I have ever had was Amanda.   

I knew Amanda long before I met Margaret.  

We never had a relationship, although I wanted to.

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Many years ago, I wrote The Healer for Amanda .

 

THE HEALER It so very odd that we never see ourselves for what we really are. If we train as lawyers we assume we are lawyers. I was a truck driver once and I thought I was a truck driver.   All truck drivers think they are truck drivers. All shop assistants will tell you they are shop assistants.   That may be why Amanda thought she was a lawyer. She had trained as a lawyer so obviously she was a lawyer.   Like most of us, Amanda didn’t know what she was.   But she saw the colours seeping out of people as soon as she could see.   Sometimes the colours raised her up, Sometimes the colours were filled with dark. Often the colours indicated what already was or that which might happen, The future flitted amongst the dancing colours of the people Amanda met.   It was unusual to see dark bands of evil But this did happen.                 Evil has its own special colours Amanda knew their evil rhythms even while still a child.   From the beginning she tried to touch the colours, Tried to alter their shape.   That is one way that lives are altered.   Helping others is always hazardous, By helping others, she changed her own life. Touch the now of anyone and you change the future         For at least two people, Sometimes many more.   Sometimes Amanda’s did more than gently touch the colours around those she met.   When her husband was seriously ill She had to do more than touch his colours, Then she needed to instil a brand new religion, A blazing faith that life is truly worth living.   With most things she set her mind on, Amanda was a great success. But she still thought she was a lawyer. She thought she was a lawyer because she had always been wrong about what she was.   So these words are just for you Amanda.   The golden glow that wraps itself around you has nothing to do with you being a lawyer. A mixture of reds, green and blues pulsates within the gold.       It too has nothing to do with you being a lawyer. The smiling room when you enter has nothing to do with you being a lawyer. The shine wrapped around your face has nothing to do with you being a lawyer. The life jumping through your hair isn’t caused by hair product It too has nothing to do with you being a lawyer.   Your children love you but not because you are a lawyer. The flowers you plant do not sigh with relief because you are a lawyer.   The room lightens because you are a healer. Your friends tread more lightly because you are a healer. People seek out your company because they know that you are a healer. Your unborn children already love you because you are a healer.   I love you because you are my wonderful friend And also because you are a healer.                    Like everyone else, I love you because you are Amanda        Because you are special Because the universe would deeply mourn your loss if you left it.   Happy birthday to The Healer, Happy birthday to my friend who just happens to be The Healer, Happy birthday to the Beloved One

 

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Photo above is Amanda in 2013.

Many years ago, I also wrote this poem called Light for Amanda.

LIGHT I suspect you are unaware you walk in the light every moment of your life, It surrounds you, It is part of the air you breath,   But you probably don't notice it   So let me tell you about Light.   You were welcomed by the harsh Australian sun.   Although Indifferent to young or old, It poured its essence into you, You absorbed the harsh, unblinking light You were swathed in the ever present heat blankets, In the shimmers of light and heat the Sun made itself solid on our Earth.   Looking at the Sun can be difficult, Perhaps this blurred your ability to see your own Light.       Surrounded by so much imitation light, It is difficult to distinguish it from the real thing.                   Your vision was also dimmed by other sources. The glow of Shayne and Anita’s love helped with the blur.  They knew more than the usual doting parents did.   You were special because you were their daughter But there were other things too. When Light spoke to them, it revealed and did not conceal. Shayne and Anita gave you their love And then they gave you some more. Light can have that effect on us all,   Especially when we know the truth.   Light often seems a burden. Those who populate the gloom and the black of night are frightened They fear the Light. Those who are scared often lash out. When you huddle in the shade you want to believe the Shadow World is real, That the Shadow World is something more than a wretched Huddling Place.   When you are chained to the Dark You fear the Light. Because it denies the reality of the shadows.   When the Shadow dwellers encounter Light, they lash out at its source. By trying to destroy Light They hope it will validate their inner emptiness..   Amanda, you are familiar with the attacks by the Fearful, You have sometimes blamed yourself for them. You tell yourself it must be your fault. Why else would people be so fearful?   Whenever you think this you are wrong.   This is why they are so fearful.   It is not just that you walk in Light. They are afraid because you emanate Light.   Light comes into the world through you because it has no choice. You have genuine beauty. The Light that pours out of you The Light that surrounds you, Gives shape to what is.   Your existence belies the false light of that other place, That place where hearts sink into the slime, That place that tries to convince us that life is unable to offer anything but dark, That we do not even deserve more.   You walk in Light Amanda because you have no choice. That is why you exist. Your job is to destroy the Shadow World You do that simply by living.   I love the Light. That is why I have always loved you Amanda.