88 You Lose, Deadly – 8 November 2004

Is this fiction?

It is an awful play on words, but Deadly’s job really was deadly easy.  When the Angel of Death found its victims, they never put up a fight.  How could they?  The Angel of Death was – it was the Angel of Death.  Everyone Deadly ever met in its long career rolled over and died when Deadly appeared. Deadly’s assignment to collect Margaret was very routine.  She had untreatable cancer and she knew her life was doomed.  Deadly only had to arrive.  In the uncountable previous assignments, this was always enough.  Deadly came; Deadly showed its face and the assignments curled up their toes and “walked” to the next destination.  Deadly’s eternal career was as simple as this. This changed with the Margaret assignment. It started as usual.  Margaret was exhausted by the lethal cancer, the chemotherapy and the radiotherapy.  Deadly knew the rationale of chemotherapy and radiotherapy - spray the patient with medicinal poison to kill everything possible, good, bad and in between cells,.  Deadly’s job was to ensure Margaret said her final good byes before the good cells regrew.  Margaret was only barely alive.  The treatment plus the cancer in her digestive system meant she was doomed. **** Why did she resist so strongly?  How did she find the strength?  Why did this assignment go so wrong? It was night with and Margaret in bed.  Deadly slipped between Margaret and the husband.  It was the best way to do the job – take her while she slept and didn’t know. Unfortunately, Margaret was not asleep and did know what was going on.  Deadly had been complacent, relying too much on routine.  To be fair to Deadly, this was the first time since beginningless time that Deadly’s assumptions had been wrong. **** Margaret and the husband stiffened, held hands and cuddled.  Deadly had scared them but they refused to crumble in terror because Deadly had arrived. “I’m scared” Margaret whispered. “I won’t ever let you go” the husband whispered back. **** The arm wrestle started; an arm wrestle that never seemed to ease up.  Unlike Margaret and the husband, exhaustion was impossible for Deadly.   Exhausted humans lose strength, but these two never lost strength.  It wasn’t really an arm wrestle.  Deadly had no arms.  Deadly didn’t need limbs and only ever needed “Presence”. Deadly used its “Presence” to the maximum.  “Presence” should have easily overcome Margaret even with help from the husband.  Deadly’s “Presence” would easily overcome everyone on the planet.  Terrified moans came from adjoining houses, but Margaret did not moan – and she refused to die. Deadly could read thoughts – it was inherent in the job description for being the Angel of Death.  Margaret’s thoughts were unmistakeable.  “No, you can’t take me; I am going nowhere”. How could she be strong enough to put up such resistance? The husband was equally clear.  “You heard her; NO!  Bugger off.  She is going nowhere.” Deadly got a clear image from the husband.  He was somewhere deep in water.  He thought Margaret and he were wrestling – not with the Angel of Death - but with a whole ocean of death. Deadly thought “This is stupid and impossible, no one can wrestle with an ocean!” Impossible or not, the pair refused to surrender in this impossible wrestling match.  They continued to wrestle with Deadly they refused to surrender to the implacable demand Deadly made.  “No!”.  No amount of how much “Presence” could frighten them into submission, Margaret refused to die and the husband refused to let her die. **** The contest became a terrible stalemate.  They couldn’t make Deadly go away; Deadly couldn’t force them to let Margaret die.  Margaret refused to die.  The husband would not let Deadly make her die.  Deadly’s career had been eternal, but for the first time in that career, Deadly couldn’t carry out an assignment. *** All stalemates have consequences.  While Margaret refused to die, Deadly could not go to the cries of others who needed to die.  Every dying human and every dying creature couldn’t die because Deadly couldn’t force this astonishing woman to accept eath.  Margaret had to die, but she would not die. Deadly made no attempt to disguise its respect when it told the pair it would be back to finish the job.  “I will be back”, Deadly told Margaret. “You can only keep her until I get back” Deadly told the husband. **** They both knew when Deadly vanished.  The husband held Margaret tightly, stroking her back until she fell into exhausted sleep. It was dawn before the husband slept.  His body shook uncontrollably until exhaustion claimed him. **** Later, Margaret was puzzled when the husband gently asked her what she remembered.  Deadly had stripped her memory of the arm wrestle; but the husband still remembered.  When she asked what he meant, he smiled gently and said she had cried out in her sleep.. **** Two years and six months later, Margaret was in a a hospice.  By now, she accepted the inevitability of her death, but her body did not. What was supposed to be her final, pre death cat scan revealed the impossible.  The cancer had brought her to the very edge of death, but her body had exterminated the cancer.  Her body had refused to let the cancer kill her. Margaret left the hospice and the husband took her to a rehabilitation hospital.  The dying woman kept getting better.  After the rehabilitation hospital, Margaret went home. Deadly had failed in the Margaret assignment and so had Deadly’s ally, cancer. Margaret had had rejected the demands of the Angel of Death.  She could not remember the wrestling match, but she knew that Deadly was needed a lesson in humility..  When Margaret got home, she continued to get better. **** Margaret final gesture of contempt for Deadly took place some seven days after she had returned home cancer free. **** Seven days after returning home, Margaret died from an infection.  The husband clutched her tightly as she finally left him while the intensive care unit heaved with noise as machines vainly tried to keep her alive, **** Deadly was shocked. For the first time ever in beginningless time, Deadly had been defeated. Margaret had been required to die when Deadly told her to die.  NOBODY was allowed to die at any other time.  Deadly had not visited the intensive care ward.  Deadly had not seen any need to visit the intensive care unit.  Margaret’s rescheduled death date was different from the date when she actually died.  Deadly had been elsewhere when it happened. Margaret had defeated Deadly. **** If Deadly wept tears of frustration and humiliation, they did not last long.  The Angel of Death is unemotional.  Being the Angel of Death is not a suitable job for emotions. **** To the husband, an eternity has passed since Margaret said “You lose, Deadly”.  The husband still weeps.

 

 

Margaret 22 January 2023