Blog No. 336 - Becoming a Ghost 1 - Too Early - 19 October 2025

Becoming A Ghost 1 – Too Early 

- 7 October 2027 - 

Myself in Bali.

I could have become a normal ghost,

But I refused.

Open heart surgery was necessary in 2018,

But only if I wanted to live.

I did.

 

They cut me open,

Right down the middle of my chest.

They stopped my heart;

Used a machine to be a Pretend Heart

They repaired the heart,

Replaced some blocked arteries.

They restarted the heart.

They stapled and stitched me back together.

They hoped I would live,

And wheeled me back into Recovery.

Although I survived,

I experienced different events.

Different events from the Operating Theatre events.

My different events occupied my time.

I was definitely dead during the operation,

Not what they call clinically dead.

I was not a revivable corpse.

I was dead, dead.

I was supposed to go somewhere else;

That was my type of being dead.

I was told I did not have to suffer any more.

There was an easy way out.

I had a free ticket.

Did I want to use my ticket?

I demanded more information.

What would happen to Margaret?

I was given a sneak preview.

If I boarded the express train out,

This would happen to Margaret.

I was horrified.

I could not let her endure this,

Not on her own.

I threw away the ticket.

If using the free ticket meant this,

I could not use the ticket.

The gentle, persistent voice required an answer.

“Are you sure?”

“It will be very hard”

“It will be so very hard.”

I was very sure.

We would walk the future together.

Together, we would be strong.

Once I rejected the chance to become a real ghost,

I woke to a world of overwhelming pain.

I never knew such pain existed.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I recovered my strength.

In 2018, I thought there was only one type of ghost.

I did not know then I could keep my body alive,

Still eat and breathe,

Yet still become a ghost.

My ignorance made no difference.

I had already begun to transform.

Three years after the heart operation,

The transformation was complete.

I became a Cancer Ghost.

I had ceased to exist.

Three years later,

Margaret was dying from cancer.

We had both become living ghosts.

Three years later after the heart operation,

We had both become Cancer Ghosts.

Seven years after the heart operation,

I remain a Cancer Ghost.