Blog No. 219 - Our Cancer Ghosting Experience Part 5, 7 April 2025

Margaret’s health declined dramatically in late 2008.  Because she loved Ireland so much, and because we had so many close friends in Ireland, I considered taking Margaret to Ireland for an extended period (six months or more).  I felt if I could remove her from her toxic work location, she might regain her health.  To enable this to become real, I looked at house swaps under which someone from Ireland would live in our home while we lived in their house in Ireland.  I also considered buying a house in Ireland so that Maragret could start again in a place where she had no unhappy memories.

In the end, I shelved the idea of moving to Ireland.  We were getting married in Ireland in July 2009 and I hoped that the marriage would lift her health without the need for transplanting her from her home in Adelaide to a place she had only visited as a tourist on holiday. 

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The Chief Organiser of our marriage in Killashee House on the 30th of July 2009 was Ann Ryan.  She visited possible locations and made recommendations to us about suitable places to get married.

As from the 26th of January 2021, when Margaret was dying from cancer and had just finished (on 20 January 2021) a gruelling course of chemotherapy and radiotherapy, Ann Ryan transformed herself into the Chief Architect of our Cancellation through the implementation of a campaign of Cancer Ghosting which has never lessened in intensity even though Margaret died in my arms (quite literally) at 3.16 am on 22 August 2023.

Our wedding in Ireland was attended by so very many of our friends from Australia and Ireland.  An idea of the scope of our Cancer Ghosting can be gained by looking at the friends who came to our wedding and asking what happened when Margaret was diagnosed with untreatable cancer in July 2020.

This is a summary of what happened to us.  It is extremely depressing and distressing.

Who (Only Includes Those Whose Names I Still Remember)	Relationship to Us	Action After Margaret’s Diagnosis	Action When Margaret Died	Action Since Margaret’s Death
Anne Ryan	Margaret’s best friend and organiser of our wedding.  Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Refused to come to our home	No cards or texts; refused to come to the funeral	Ignored all attempts by me to reach out to her
Paul Ryan	Ann Ryan’s brother and Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Ignored all attempts by me to communicate with him and tell him about Margaret	No cards or texts; because he lived in Ireland, I did not expect him to come to the funeral although his sister Ann Ryan could easily have paid his fare	Nothing
Aine Ryan	Ann Ryan’s sister in law and Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Nothing ever from Aine	No cards or texts; because he lived in Ireland, I did not expect her to come to the funeral although her sister in law Ann Ryan could easily have paid her fare	Nothing; ignored invitation to be present when I scattered Margaret’s ashes in Ireland
Paula Ryan	Ann Ryan’s niece and Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Paula maintained regular contact with me until 18 July 2023 when I told her Margaret’s cancer had miraculously vanished	No cards or texts; because she lived in Ireland, I did not expect her to come to the funeral although her aunt Ann Ryan could easily have paid his fare	Nothing; ignored invitation to be present when I scattered Margaret’s ashes in Ireland
Heather Long	Margaret’s friend of 50 years’ standing. Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Refused to come to our home	No cards or texts; I know she was at the funeral only because she signed the Commemoration book	Nothing
Andrew Long	Husband of Heather Long who was Margaret’s friend of 50 years’ standing. Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Refused to come to our home	No cards or texts; I know he was at the funeral only because he signed the Commemoration book	Nothing
Mick Martin	“Officiator” at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002 and Honoured guest at our real wedding in 2009	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Ann O’Brien	Honoured Guest at (1) our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002 and (2) at our real wedding in 2009 (2) Honoured Guest at our real wedding in 2009	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Mary Doyle	Honoured Guest (1) at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002; (2) our real wedding in 2009 and at (3) our 10 year anniversary	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Nes Fernandez	Honoured Guest at our real wedding in 2009	Refused to come to our home and stopped all contact	Refused to come to funeral	Nothing
Peter Hussey	Honoured Guest (1) at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002; (2) our real wedding in 2009 and at (3) our 10 year anniversary	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Sue Chapman	Margaret’s friend of 50 years’ standing. Honoured Guest at (1) Our wedding in Killashee House; and at (2) Our 10 year anniversary celebration in Killashee House	Refused to come to our home	No cards or texts; I know she was at the funeral only because she signed the Commemoration book	Nothing
Denise Flynn	Honoured Guest (1) at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002; (2) our real wedding in 2009	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Maeve O’Byrne	Extremely close friend of Ann Ryan and Officiator at our Handfasting Ceremony in 2009.  Honoured Guest at (1) at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002; (2) our real wedding in 2009 and at (3) our 10 year anniversary	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing
Dave Dalton	Husband of Maeve O’Byrne Honoured Guest at (1) at our unofficial wedding in Ireland in 2002; (2) our real wedding in 2009 and at (3) our 10 year anniversary	Nothing	Nothing	Nothing

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Cancer Ghosting increased after Margaret died.  This is a summary of the extra ghosting.

Who (Only Includes Those Whose Names I Still Remember)appropriate	Relationship to Us	Action After Margaret’s Diagnosis	Action When Margaret Died	Action Since Margaret’s Death
James Michael Redden	Margaret’s brother and co-executor of her Will	Mostly appropriate	Appropriate	Stole about $50,000.00 of Margaret’s jewellery on 23 November 2023 and falsely told Margaret's niece, sister and sole remaining friend Cheryl Scopazzi that they could take Margaret’s clothes and the jewellery he had not already stolen. Ensured remaining family members cancelled me after 23 November 2023. Refused to do anything to help in estate administration
Jameson Henderson Redden	Margaret’s nephew and co-executor of her estate	Appropriate	Appropriate	Confirmed his father had authorised taking of Margaret’s jewellery and clothes. Cancelled me after January 2024. Refused to do anything to help in estate administration
Maurine Redden	Margaret’s sister	Appropriate	Appropriate	Cancelled me after 23 November 2023.
Cheryl Scopazzi	Sole friend who continued to visit Margaret at home.  I now think she did this so she could give reports about Margaret’s health to the Cancellation Crew	Appropriate	Appropriate	Took as much of Margaret’s clothing and jewellery as she could.  Cancelled me as from January 2024

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Cancer Ghosting is real and it is vicious and debilitating.  Margaret and I were both victims of Cancer Ghosting and I have continued to receive Cancer Ghosting even though Margaret has now been dead since 22 August 2023.

We both thought Ann Ryan was our close friend but she treated both of us like pieces of rubbish before Margaret died.  She has continued to treat me like a piece of rubbish in the time since.

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Margaret was thrilled that she had been able to help Ann Ryan buy her own place in Glenelg.  I took this photo on 11 April 2018.  Margaret is with the sales agents who facilitated the sale of the unit to Ann.

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Margaret with her “wonderful friend” Ann Ryan on 4 April 2018 at Sellick’s Hill, south of Adelaide.  Ann said she liked the statue of Kwan Yin, Goddess of Compassion, but no compassion had found its way into her heart when Margaret began to die from cancer in 2020.