Blog No. 344 - The Night Watch – Part 1: Holding On - Friday 5 December 2025

 The Night Watch – Part 1: Holding On 

- 22 October 2025 - 

1980s

My son’s mother hated me,

But my son still needed a father.

I could not really stay in his life,

But somehow, I had to stay in his life.

I achieved the impossible.

I became the Night Watch.

The unknown, the unwanted, 

The hated Protector.

I was invisible except when I had to be abused.

As the invisible Protector and Guardian, 

I prevented evils no one else could see.

I was the guard against evils only I worried about.

What could they see?

What could they care about?

There was nothing for them to see.

There was nothing for them to care about.

I terminated all threats before they could realise they were there.

Through spooky magic,

I sensed terrible things trying to happen.

I sensed terrible thing that definitely would happen,

But only if I stopped being the Night Watch,

****

This is the 1642 Rembrandt painting usually called the Night Watch.  It depicts the Militia Company of District II under the Command of Captain Frans Banninck Cocq.  These troops were also called The Shooting Company of Frans Banning Cocq and Willem van Ruytenburch,

****

I could not permit these things to occur.

My son needed protection.

Although she hated me.

Constantly cursed me;

Constantly hit me;

Constantly threw cups of hot coffee at me;

I had to protect my wife.

Had to save her from her own folly.

I had to make ensure the anger she created in others, never hurt her.

So many wanted to hurt her back.

It was my job to make sure they could not.

It was my job to ensure they never had the chance.

That aspect of my role as Night Watch was easy.

Other parts of the Night Watch were not easy.

In her crazy, impossible pursuit of peace of mind,

My wife knew she could be happy,

She only had to spend big lumps of money on stuff she didn’t need;

She only had to spend big lumps of money that existed in a different universe;

On things she didn’t need;

On things she really did not want.

My wages could never cover her spending,

But somehow, I always found the money.

I paid for all her crazy purchases.

Although her violence grew steadily,

I never hit her back.

She became so angry,

Because I did not get angry.

Because I never shouted back.

It was so hard being the Night Watch.

I had so many jobs.

None of my other jobs were as hard as the Night Watch.

****

In 2005, Russian sculptor Mikhail Dronov and his Russian-Dutch colleague Alexander Taratynov created a bronze-cast representation of the famous painting, which was displayed in Amsterdam's Rembrandtplein from 2006 to 2009. After displays in other locations, the sculptures returned in 2012, installed in front of Louis Royer's 1852 cast iron statue of Rembrandt.  The statues were removed on February 12, 2020.  Rembrandtplein business association was unable to reach an agreement with the artists (Mikhail Dronov and Alexander Taratynov) regarding either the rental or purchase of the Night Watch sculptures.

****

In real life, if you draw Night Watch duty,

You know the night will end at dawn.

In real life, if you draw Night Watch duty,

You know you will be relieved when your shift ends.

In real life, Night Watch members can rest;

In real life, Night Watch members can recover.

When I drew Night Watch duty in 1981,

I knew there could be no dawn.

I knew there would never be any relievers.

I accepted my night would never end.

As the grip of the Shadow Lands got stronger,

I walked in darkness;

And I walked alone;

I served alone.

I knew I would never meet a relieving shift.

There could be no relief.

Unseen and unnoticed,

I served as the Night Watch.

My exhaustion grows ever stronger in the choking, endless night.

Like every member of the Night Watch,

I hated my service as Night Watch,

Like every member of the Night Watch,

I knew I had no choice.

Those chosen to serve as Night Watch never have a choice.

They know they must serve.

They know if they fail in their service,

Those they love will suffer.

So I endured my night.

I endured,

Hoping for an impossible dawn.

A dawn that could never come.

A dawn that never did come.

Like every Night Watch member,

I hoped and prayed for relief.

I hoped and prayed for a relief that could never come.

I was so alone.

I hated being so alone,

But I was only doing my job.

****

Although this June 2013 photo of me was taken after I had finished my original service as Night Watch, I had started the second of my two separate periods as Night Watch when this photo was taken.  Although I was again serving as Night Watch in 2013 because Margaret was so desperately ill, there was a huge difference between the two periods of service.  Margaret knew what I was doing and could not have shown more love and gratitude.  It was desperately cold the day this photo was taken

****

Service as Night Watch always requires service alone;

Service as Night Watch always requires service that cannot be abandoned.

I endured my lonely service.

I never abandoned my service.