Blog 294 – Growing Up in Liverpool, Part 2 – 3 July 2025

 

136 – Circling the Drain, Part 3: 3 January 2025

I love walking and I love walking in Morialta Park.  This is me at First Falls Morialta on Sunday 5 June 2022.  The rain had been pouring down.  By this date, I was confident that I would not die in the near future and I had been able to resume my Park walks.

In April 2021, it was agony to walk anywhere.  My normal walks in Morialta were impossible and my imminent death seemed very close.  I continued to live because I refused to leave Margaret to deal with her cancer on her own.  She needed me so I refused to die.

****

My health throughout April 2021 continued its steady and seemingly irreversible decline.

My weight continued its descent towards oblivion.  This Table summarises my weight loss in April.

April 2021
2 April 2021	76.3 kilograms
9 April 2021	76.8 kilograms
16 April 2021	75.6 kilograms
23 April 2021	74.8 kilograms
30 April 2021	73.2 kilograms

* 73.2 kilograms = 11 stone, 7 pounds, 7 ounces or 161 pounds, 7 ounces

****

As my weight continued to plummet, my ability to do normal exercise became increasingly limited.  This Table identifies how my illness reduced my exercise program in April.

April 2021
Date	Scheduled Exercise	Actual Exercise
Sunday 4 April	3 ½ hours at Morialta	1 ½ hours at Morialta
Monday 12 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	1 hour walking at home; yoga nil
Friday 16 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	Nil
Sunday 18 April	3 ½ hours at Morialta	1 ½ hours at Morialta
Monday 19 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	No genuine exercise, only 30 minutes “Perimeter Prowling” at home to suppress coughing
Tuesday 20 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	1 hour walking at home; yoga nil
Friday 23 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	No genuine exercise, only 30 minutes “Perimeter Prowling” at home to suppress coughing
Sunday 25 April	3 ½ hours at Morialta	1 ½ hours at Morialta
Tuesday 27 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	No genuine exercise, only 30 minutes “Perimeter Prowling” at home to suppress coughing
Wednesday 28 April	1 ½ hours yoga in studio	1 ½ hours yoga in studio plus 30 minutes “Perimeter Prowling” at home to suppress coughing
Thursday 29 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	No genuine exercise, only 30 minutes “Perimeter Prowling” at home to suppress coughing
Friday 30 April	1 hour walking at home, plus 30 minutes yoga	No exercise at all – admitted to hospital

 

****

I kept losing weight because the bloating of my stomach made it nearly impossible to eat.

This Table identifies specific meals I was unable to eat during April 2021.

Date	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Thursday 1 April		1 orange	Nil
Saturday 3 April		1 apple	4 gluten free crisps with goat cheese
Sunday 4 April		2 small apples with bowl gluten free ice cream
Monday 5 April		Bowl gluten free ice cream
Tuesday 6 April		2 apples
Sunday 11 April		1 apple and 1 orange
Monday 12 April		Nil
Thursday 15 April		Energy bar	Nil
Friday 16 April			1 corn on the cob
Saturday 17 April		Nil
Sunday 18 April		Nil
Monday 19 April		Bowl gluten free ice cream
Friday 23 April		Nil
Saturday 24 April		2 apples	Nil
Wednesday 28 April			Nil
Thursday 29 April		Nil
Friday 30 April		Not recorded, in hospital	Not recorded, in hospital

****

This is a copy of my diary of symptoms for 28 and 30 April.  I was admitted to hospital in the morning on Friday 30 April 2021.  The hospital admission certainly saved my life.  Unfortunately, it did not provide me with a permanent cure for my symptoms.

 

Symptom	Wednesday 28 April 2021	Friday 30 April 2021
Asthma	Moderate breath shortage from 1:00 am until 3:00 am; easier breathing from 7:00 am onwards; extreme breath shortage from 12:30 to 5:00 pm; only slight relief from Ventolin and deep breathing; severe breathing difficulty still present at 9:00 pm	Severe breath shortage at 6:00 am – Ventolin and deep breathing; only moderate breath shortage by 9:00 am; Asthma controlled by medication after admission to hospital
Persistent Cough	Severe coughing from 1:00 am to 3:00 am requiring “perimeter prowling” for 30 minutes; moderate to severe coughing from 7:00 am to 9:00 am suppressed by mixture; moderate coughing in afternoon and evening suppressed only by mixture	My wife Margaret reports I has a severe and extended coughing attack from 1:00 am onwards; Margaret thought the coughing would certainly wake me up, but I slept through the coughing; moderate coughing at 6:00 am Coughing controlled by medication after admission to hospital
Reflux	No change	No change
Sinus/ Hay Fever	Constant nasal discharge from 1:00 am to 3:00 am; constant nasal discharge from 12:30 pm to 3:30 pm	No sneeze attacks or nasal discharge from 6:00 am until 9:00 am. Sneezing and nasal discharge controlled by medication after admission to hospital
Sleep Disorders	Napped on sofa from 10:00 pm to 12:30 am Thursday; woken by severe coughing; had to do “perimeter prowling” from 2:30 am to 3:00 am; napped on sofa from 3:30 am to 7:00 am;	Slept in hospital after given sleeping pill
Gluten Intolerance	Avoided food with gluten	Avoided food with gluten
Lots of Bloating and Flatulence	Mild bloat in morning; severe bloat from 1:00 pm onwards; still there at 9:00 pm	Moderate bloat from 6:00 am onwards; ability to eat food and drink coffee very acute. Bloating controlled by medication after admission to hospital
Hiccups		No hiccups in morning between 6:00 am and 9:00 am Hiccups controlled by medication after admission to hospital
Optical Migraines	Nil	Optical migraine at 6:00 am
Sense of Smell	Unable to smell since mid December 2020	Unable to smell since mid December 2020
Miscellaneous		(1) Slept from 10:30 pm to 5:50 am Friday – but only because of strong sleeping pill (see note re coughing) (2) Able to eat only reduced breakfast of 2 slices of dry toast with 1 mug of coffee (3) Able to eat after admission to hospital

 

****

By the end of April 2021, my circling of the Death Drain had drawn me very close to the drain exit.  While Margaret seemingly had been granted a reprieve from her terminal cancer, I was now on Death Row.

I could think of no solution apart from refusing to die, so I adamantly refused to die.