130 – Cancelled, Part 4: 28 December 2024

I took these photos on Sunday 22 November 2020.  They give some insight into the fragile nature of our lives on this planet and the tenuous nature of relationships that seem so permanent.

Butterflies are so exquisitely beautiful, but their lives are so short.

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Flowers bloom in Spring and look just as beautiful as the butterflies.  They live longer than butterflies, but they too have short lives.

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We humans think our lives are permanent because we live for much longer than butterflies or flowers, but we too have limited time spans during when we are permitted to live on this earth.  

We think our friendships are permanent, but they too can die without any prior signs of illness.

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This is the sequence of texts between me and Anne Ryan in February 2021 which enabled her to tell me that Margaret and I had both been cancelled.

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I sent this text to Anne at 9.15 am on Wednesday 3 February 2021.

Are you available for chat on Friday?  Coffee?  Lunch? Am available all day.

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I got this reply at 11.14 am on Wednesday 3 February.

Can’t do Friday.  How about Saturday?

 

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I replied at 11.14 am on 3 February.

Sure.  Saturday is fine.

 

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Later on 3 February, Anne claimed that she already had a prior appointment for Saturday 6 February.  Because of later developments, I am confident this was a lie.

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I got this text at 2.23 pm on 3 February.

Sorry.  Forgot I’m tied up Sat.  I’ll get back to you for sometime next week.

 

I was puzzled by this text from Anne abruptly cancelling our “reconciliation” meeting because Anne never made mistakes about diary entries.

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I finally got this text from Anne at 3.07 pm on Sunday 7 February.

I c an drop Marg from Beckman tomorrow.  I’ll also return your car.  MacFarlane st is being dug up again this week so its better for car at your house than on the street.  We can have a quick chat when I get to ur place if it suits you.  A  Note: Text is reproduced exactly as sent to me.

 

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I replied at 4.32 pm on 7 February.

 

Ok

 

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Because of her treatments, Margaret was not able to drive in February 2021.  She had asked me to drop her off at a coffee shop.  Anne and Margaret’s other close friends were meeting her there.  Anne’s text indicated she would bring Margaret home from the coffee shop and then have her long delayed chat with me.

I did not know it then, but the chat Anne had in mind had nothing to do with resolving any differences.  The only chat she wanted was a very short one telling me to bugger off and that as a result, Margaret had also to bugger off.

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I sent this letter to Anne Ryan by email in the afternoon of Monday 8 February 2021.  It tells the story of what happened at the meeting.

I have not laid eyes on Anne Ryan since Monday 8 February 2021.  Een as Margaret's health deteriorated as death edged ever closer, Margaret never again saw her so called friend except in places that were far from her home.  Her friends refused to see her in her own home.  So too did all except one of the other supposed friends that Margaret had introduced to Anne Ryan.  The only friend who continued to see Margaret in her own home was Cheryl Scopazzi.  I believe Cheryl was the "designated friend".  She was tasked by the others with seeing Margaret in her own home.

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Monday 8 February 2021   Dear Anne,   Re: Our “Discussion” This Afternoon I sent you the letter dated 27 January because you have been my dear friend and two separate incidents had occurred which had caused me great distress (physically and emotionally).  The purpose of the earlier letter was to let you know that you had distressed me and the impact that the incidents had had on me.  My hope was that by telling you the impact your actions had on me, we could discuss ways to make sure nothing similar happened in the future. If I had not wanted to continue the friendship, I would not have written the letter. Shortly after I sent you the letter, you sent me a text saying: “I read your email and I recognise everything you said.  I’m so sorry you had such a bad physical reaction.  I have no idea about what to do about our political differences or about this rift.” I replied saying:  “I do not know what to do either but do treasure the friendship.” You replied saying: “Me too.  We probably need to talk at some stage and look for a solution.” I presumed you meant that we should let some time go by to enable emotions to cool and that we should then discuss the issues raised in the letter in a reasonable manner. I replied saying: “Yes.  Let it be for now.” You replied saying: “I think that a good plan.” We eventually met this afternoon at our place to have our talk.  I was stunned and upset by what rapidly followed.  To the best of my recollection, this is what was said. I said something along the lines of what should we do? You said that there were two possible approaches – discussing what I said in my letter and discussing what to do from now on.  You said that discussing the contents of the letter would only make the situation worse and that you did not want to do this.  You said that the best you hoped for was to be able to salvage what could be salvaged from the wreck.  You said you hoped to keep our interactions in the future to a minimum and that you hoped we could be polite to each other.  You also said you wanted to retain your friendship with Margaret.  You implied that my attitude as expressed in the letter was the result of Margie’s cancer diagnosis and I presumed this meant you believed I had raised the matters set out in the letter only because my judgment was clouded by the diagnosis.  I presumed you meant you had done nothing that needed to be discussed. I was stunned by what you said. I said I thought we should talk about the issues that I had raised in my letter.  You said you did not want to talk about what I had said in my letter.  You said that my letter had made it clear that I did not want to have any ongoing friendship with you because it was not written in a way that suggested any desire for a continuing friendship.  I said that if I did not have a high opinion of you, I would not have written the letter in the first place. You seemed to have decided that as far as you were concerned, we were to no longer be friends. You said that you had received “two great gifts” from the friendship.  The first was the loan of my car and that not many people would lend their car to anyone for such a long period but that the loan of the car was coming to an end in any event and you were returning it today.  The other “great gift” was me introducing you to Morialta and this was the “gift that kept on giving”. I then asked if you believed that you had done nothing deserving of criticism in relation to the things I had raised in the letter.  You replied that I had been in a “permanent rage” since Margie’s diagnosis.  Once again, I presumed you meant that my judgment was clouded by the diagnosis. I then asked directly if you felt that none of the matters raised in the letter were matters that should have caused me any distress. You then said you would not discuss the matters raised in the letter and that you were leaving.  You called out goodbye to Margie (who was in a different room) and you rapidly left the house. In the hours since your abrupt departure I have wondered what I ought to do.  You certainly seem to have decided that I am no longer a person that you wish to know any more.  Not only is this very distressing to me (and to Margaret), but the discussion immediately before you left was also very distressing. A rupture in the friendship was not my intention, but if that is what you want, there is nothing I can do about it. As I have already said, the intention of my earlier letter was not to terminate a friendship but to enable it to continue by having us agree on some “rules of conduct”.  Written with much sorrow and sadness.  I have placed much value on our friendship.   John   Note:  After I had written this letter, Margie found the card and gift vouchers that you had left.  The thought is genuinely appreciated.

 

 

 

129 – Cancelled, Part 4: 27 December 2024

This is a photo of Chris Reilly at our housewarming in 2001.  Chris was the husband of the beautiful Sue Marshall who came to the housewarming with Chris.  Chris Reilly was an honoured guest at out barbecue on 26 January 2021.  He was sitting next to me when Anne Ryan ranted about Australia Day.  Chris Reilly eagerly joined the Cancellation Crew organised by Anne Ryan.  He attended Margaret’s funeral but refused to speak to me and I became aware he was present only when I accidentally met him after the funeral had finished.

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This photo shows Chris Reilly and Sue Marshall at the 2001 housewarming.  Sue always had a beautiful smile for everyone she met, even after she was given her terminal cancer diagnosis.  Chris Reilly always found it much harder to be welcoming to any people except Sue.

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Margaret and I loved each other from the first moment we met.  This is us at our housewarming.

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This is a copy of the letter dated 27 January 2021 that I sent to Anne Ryan on 28 January.  This letter was the excuse used by Anne Ryan to cancel both me and Margaret.  Anne Ryan also ensured that all of our friends – whom she knew only because Margaret introduced them to Anne – also cancelled both Margaret and me.  

At the date of the cancellation. Margaret was expecting to die in the immediate future and she had just finished 6 weeks of chemotherapy and radiotherapy which we hoped would extend her life by perhaps 2 months.  That made no difference to the cancellation.  The cancellation was ruthlessly enforced.

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Wednesday 27 January 2021   Dear Anne,   Re: Why I Have Decided Not to Walk At Morialta   I am supposed to walk with you and Mary at Morialta on Friday 29 January but I have decided that I will not walk with you at Morialta on Friday.  I would prefer to verbalise in your presence, what I say in this letter and I have seriously considered trying to say this to your face, but I know my emotions would get in the way and the words would all come out wrong.  As an alternative, I will try and explain in writing in this letter. Yesterday, you were an extremely welcome guest at our home for an Australia Day barbecue.  I was outside on the decking doing the cooking when you arrived, but you came outside and sat at the outside table talking to me and Chris Reilly.  While you were outside, you raised the topic of the date of Australia Day and the fact that some people prefer to call it invasion day.  Amongst other things, you said that the concept of Australia Day dated back only to 1994 and that you thought the date should be altered to a different date from that on which the First Fleet arrived in Sydney in 1788.  I said that I had lived in Australia all of my life and that Australia Day had always been celebrated on the same date throughout my lifetime.  You then said that celebrating Australia Day on 26 January was similar to the celebration of King Billy’s Day in Northern Ireland on 14 March (I may have that specific date not quite correct).  I said that I could not see the similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory over the Irish by English forces and the triumph of the Irish Protestants in Ireland.  I said that Australia had not experienced an event similar to this on 26 January 1788. To my complete shock, you then said “I am not going to listen to this”, stood up and went back into the house. There was another occasion in late 2020 when your behaviour also shocked and surprised me. On the last occasion that I was able to walk with you and Mary at Morialta, we were in the car and nearly at Morialta.  In general conversation I said that I liked the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland because they did not try and use their gender but simply did the job they were elected to do.  Your immediate response to this was to claim I had said something “sexist” because I would never have said this about a male politician.  I replied that you had been listening to ABC radio too much and you should broaden your range of listening. You then spoke about the troubles of Angela Merkel in Germany and Ursula von der Leyen and the difficulties based upon their gender that they had when they began doing their respective jobs.  For the record, I had never heard of Ursula von der Leyen apart from being vaguely aware she had something to do with the European Union.  I again commented that you had been listening to ABC radio too much.  I also said that what I had said about the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland was in substance the same as what you had just said about Angela Merkel and Ursula von der Leyen, but that you had “dropped on me from a great height” for saying the same as you. I was extremely upset that someone I treasure as a close friend should accuse me of being “sexist”.  I was about to tell you to stop the car so I could get out, but before I could do this, you realised you had upset me and said you were sorry.  I believe you had no idea why I was upset and that you just felt you needed to defuse an uncomfortable situation. I did not really enjoy the walk that day.  I now feel I should have told you of the impact your behaviour had on me, but I did not do so. Now to return to what happened yesterday. By walking away and saying that you were not going to listen any more to what I was saying, you were in effect saying that if I say anything that you disagree with, you have the right to claim that you are upset by what I am saying and I must in future take care never to say anything that you disagree with.  This is called censorship.  Put another way, even though you perhaps tell yourself you are a champion of free speech, you are only prepared to let people speak freely if they say things you agree with.  If I ever say something you disagree with, you will close down my views by refusing to listen and by claiming that you find them personally upsetting. For the record, this is a vile tactic and I refuse to co-operate with it. In addition to making me feel that a treasured friend has decided my ideas are so worthless they should not be listened to, your actions in choking off my ability to voice my thoughts also had a direct physical impact on me. You may or may not be aware that I have suffered considerable physical discomfort during the weeks and months since Margie was diagnosed with Ampullar cancer.  This discomfort was particularly acute over the 7 weeks that she underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy.  My physical discomfort has manifested as severe diarrhea, periodic shortness of breath, sudden, severe bloating and severe discomfort caused by the bloating.  When I get the bloating, hard experience tells me I will not be able to get any sleep that night. Until yesterday, the bloating, diarrhea and shortness of breath had drifted into the past (it was about 3 weeks since my last episode).  My 3 weeks of relief from these symptoms came to an abrupt end about one hour after everyone had left our place yesterday.  The diarrhea started again.  Adding some spice to the mix, I also got an optical migraine.  This is like a migraine but without the headache.  It sounds harmless enough but it can be quite debilitating.  I get pressure on the eyes and visual symptoms - usually jagged lightning bolts obscuring my vision.  Then the stomach went into full bloating mode.  It swelled and I started burping and continuously hiccupping.  Later that night, I didn’t even hear the phone ring when my son Chris rang to say hello.  I was too busy hoping that I would send only bowel contents (and not parts of my bowel) down the toilet. I did legs up the wall for 15 minutes at about 9:00 pm hoping it would settle my body down.  It did help but not for long.  By 1:00 am I was still awake and hiccupping continuously and realising that it would be yet another no sleep night and that if I stayed in bed, it would simply guarantee that Margie got no sleep either.  So I got up, closed the bedroom door to try and insulate her from my noise and tried dozing on the couch. I did finally drift off on the couch at about 3:30 am and woke at about 5:20 am. Telling you about these physical consequences is not meant to try and get sympathy.  I am trying to point out that there are physical consequences for everything that every one of us does.  You might think claiming to be offended at what I say it is a reasonable way of silencing views that you disagree with.  I do not.  I profoundly believe that every person who is not expressing support for violence has the right to say whatever he or she wants.  I believe that the world is a far better place where people are able to say what they think because in the middle of the babble of views, deep truths may emerge.  No matter how unlikely you think it is that you might be wrong, much of what you and I think, has a high chance of being wrong.  When one person accurately points out reality, the reality being pointed out does not cease to be true simply because everyone else in the world thinks otherwise.  Reality does not depend on whether or not other people accept it as “true”.  Reality always remains “true” no matter how many people genuinely believe otherwise.  None of us see more than a small slice of the whole of reality. Your preference to avoid views that contradict your own, reminds me of lyrics from an old Monkees song.   With slight amendments, the lyrics reflect your apparent attitude to views that differ from your own. “Why don’t you cut your hair? Why don’t you live up there? Why don’t you do what I do?  Think what I think when I care?”   So that is what I have to say.  I can’t walk at Morialta with someone who thinks my views are so worthless that I should not be allowed to express them.  This is profoundly upsetting for me, but I am not willing to do things that might well result in more emotional distress for me and create a real possibility of more horrible nights like Tuesday night.   John

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By 8 February 2021, both Margaret and I were cancelled.  Margaret is now dead.  I am alive but I remain cancelled.

 

128 – Cancelled, Part 3: 24 December 2024

This photo shows me with the exceptionally wonderful Sue Marshall.  Sue had cancer and was dying when this was taken. 

Sue’s widower was Christopher Reilly.  He was sitting next to me when on the barbecue day, Anne Ryan flounced her hair (literally) just like Miss Piggy on The Muppets, stood up, said “I am not going to listen to this” and then flounced her way back into my home.

Chris Reilly promptly joined the Cancellation Crew.  He knew exactly how Anne Ryan had behaved, and he completely approved her awful behaviour.

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This is the second half of the letter I sent to Anne Ryan on 28 January 2021

Now to return to what happened yesterday. By walking away and saying that you were not going to listen any more to what I was saying, you were in effect saying that if I say anything that you disagree with, you have the right to claim that you are upset by what I am saying and I must in future take care never to say anything that you disagree with.  This is called censorship.  Put another way, even though you perhaps tell yourself you are a champion of free speech, you are only prepared to let people speak freely if they say things you agree with.  If I ever say something you disagree with, you will close down my views by refusing to listen and by claiming that you find them personally upsetting. For the record, this is a vile tactic and I refuse to co-operate with it. In addition to making me feel that a treasured friend has decided my ideas are so worthless they should not be listened to, your actions in choking off my ability to voice my thoughts also had a direct physical impact on me. You may or may not be aware that I have suffered considerable physical discomfort during the weeks and months since Margie was diagnosed with Ampullar cancer.  This discomfort was particularly acute over the 7 weeks that she underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy.  My physical discomfort has manifested as severe diarrhea, periodic shortness of breath, sudden, severe bloating and severe discomfort caused by the bloating.  When I get the bloating, hard experience tells me I will not be able to get any sleep that night. Until yesterday, the bloating, diarrhea and shortness of breath had drifted into the past (it was about 3 weeks since my last episode).  My 3 weeks of relief from these symptoms came to an abrupt end about one hour after everyone had left our place yesterday.  The diarrhea started again.  Adding some spice to the mix, I also got an optical migraine.  This is like a migraine but without the headache.  It sounds harmless enough but it can be quite debilitating.  I get pressure on the eyes and visual symptoms - usually jagged lightning bolts obscuring my vision.  Then the stomach went into full bloating mode.  It swelled and I started burping and continuously hiccupping.  Later that night, I didn’t even hear the phone ring when my son Chris rang to say hello.  I was too busy hoping that I would send only bowel contents (and not parts of my bowel) down the toilet. I did legs up the wall for 15 minutes at about 9:00 pm hoping it would settle my body down.  It did help but not for long.  By 1:00 am I was still awake and hiccupping continuously and realising that it would be yet another no sleep night and that if I stayed in bed, it would simply guarantee that Margie got no sleep either.  So I got up, closed the bedroom door to try and insulate her from my noise and tried dozing on the couch. I did finally drift off on the couch at about 3:30 am and woke at about 5:20 am. Telling you about these physical consequences is not meant to try and get sympathy.  I am trying to point out that there are physical consequences for everything that every one of us does.  You might think claiming to be offended at what I say it is a reasonable way of silencing views that you disagree with.  I do not.  I profoundly believe that every person who is not expressing support for violence has the right to say whatever he or she wants.  I believe that the world is a far better place where people are able to say what they think because in the middle of the babble of views, deep truths may emerge.  No matter how unlikely you think it is that you might be wrong, much of what you and I think, has a high chance of being wrong.  When one person accurately points out reality, the reality being pointed out does not cease to be true simply because everyone else in the world thinks otherwise.  Reality does not depend on whether or not other people accept it as “true”.  Reality always remains “true” no matter how many people genuinely believe otherwise.  None of us see more than a small slice of the whole of reality. Your preference to avoid views that contradict your own, reminds me of lyrics from an old Monkees song   With slight amendments, the lyrics reflect your apparent attitude to views that differ from your own. “Why don’t you cut your hair? Why don’t you live up there? Why don’t you do what I do?  Think what I think when I care?”   So that is what I have to say.  I can’t walk at Morialta with someone who thinks my views are so worthless that I should not be allowed to express them.  This is profoundly upsetting for me, but I am not willing to do things that might well result in more emotional distress for me and create a real possibility of more horrible nights like Tuesday night.   John

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What follows are exact copies of the texts which we exchanged on 28 January after I sent my letter dated 27 January 2021.

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Text from Anne received 10.17 am Thursday 28 January.

I read your email and I recognise everything you said.  I’m so sorry you had such a bad physical reaction.  I have no idea what to do about our political differences or about this rift.

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Text from me to Anne Ryan sent 10.35 am 28 January.

I do not know what to do either but do treasure the friendship.

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Text from Anne to me sent 10.37 am 28 January.

Me too.  We probably need to talk at some stage and look for a solution,

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Text from me to Anne sent 10.39 am 28 January.

Yes.  Let it be for now.

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Text from Anne to me sent 10.39 am on 28 January.

I think that is a good plan.

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The exchange of texts led me to think it might be possible to salvage something from the friendship wreckage created by Anne Ryan’s behaviour.  

I was wrong.  

I knew nothing about the Woke religious Cult.

 

127 – Cancelled, Part 2: 24 December 2024

Margaret was unable to quit smoking but I loved every aspect of her, including her inability to stop smoking.  Margaret did not have cancer when this photo was taken.

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Our love was mutual.  Every moment of every day, I knew with complete certainty that Margaret loved me at least as much as I loved her.  Our love for each other grew with every year we lived together.

If anything, the horrific events that followed the barbecue on 26 January 2021 strengthened and deepened our love for each other.

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I commenced writing a letter to Anne Ryan on the day after the barbecue.  My letter told her the impact her behaviour had had on me. 

I sent my letter by email at 10.01 am on Thursday the 28^th.  I received a reply by text almost immediately at 10.17 am.

I read your email and I recognise everything you said.  I’m so sorry you had such a bad physical reaction.  I have no idea what to do about our political differences or about this rift.

This is the first half of the letter that I sent to Anne Ryan at 10.01 am on that Thursday.  I will reproduce the second half of my letter in the next Blog.

I point out that when Anne said she “recognise[d] everything [I] said”, she confirmed the accuracy of the summary of the facts I set out in my letter.

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Wednesday 27 January 2021   Dear Anne,   Re: Why I Have Decided Not to Walk At Morialta   I am supposed to walk with you and Mary at Morialta on Friday 29 January but I have decided that I will not walk with you at Morialta on Friday.  I would prefer to verbalise in your presence, what I say in this letter and I have seriously considered trying to say this to your face, but I know my emotions would get in the way and the words would all come out wrong.  As an alternative, I will try and explain in writing in this letter. Yesterday, you were an extremely welcome guest at our home for an Australia Day barbecue.  I was outside on the decking doing the cooking when you arrived, but you came outside and sat at the outside table talking to me and Chris Reilly.  While you were outside, you raised the topic of the date of Australia Day and the fact that some people prefer to call it invasion day.  Amongst other things, you said that the concept of Australia Day dated back only to 1994 and that you thought the date should be altered to a different date from that on which the First Fleet arrived in Sydney in 1788.  I said that I had lived in Australia all of my life and that Australia Day had always been celebrated on the same date throughout my lifetime.  You then said that celebrating Australia Day on 26 January was similar to the celebration of King Billy’s Day in Northern Ireland on 14 March (I may have that specific date not quite correct).  I said that I could not see the similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory over the Irish by English forces and the triumph of the Irish Protestants in Ireland.  I said that Australia had not experienced an event similar to this on 26 January 1788. To my complete shock, you then said “I am not going to listen to this”, stood up and went back into the house. There was another occasion in late 2020 when your behaviour also shocked and surprised me. On the last occasion that I was able to walk with you and Mary at Morialta, we were in the car and nearly at Morialta.  In general conversation I said that I liked the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland because they did not try and use their gender but simply did the job they were elected to do.  Your immediate response to this was to claim I had said something “sexist” because I would never have said this about a male politician.  I replied that you had been listening to ABC radio too much and you should broaden your range of listening. You then spoke about the troubles of Angela Merkel in Germany and Ursula von der Leyen and the difficulties based upon their gender that they had when they began doing their respective jobs.  For the record, I had never heard of Ursula von der Leyen apart from being vaguely aware she had something to do with the European Union.  I again commented that you had been listening to ABC radio too much.  I also said that what I had said about the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland was in substance the same as what you had just said about Angela Merkel and Ursula von der Leyen, but that you had “dropped on me from a great height” for saying the same as you. I was extremely upset that someone I treasure as a close friend should accuse me of being “sexist”.  I was about to tell you to stop the car so I could get out, but before I could do this, you realised you had upset me and said you were sorry.  I believe you had no idea why I was upset and that you just felt you needed to defuse an uncomfortable situation. I did not really enjoy the walk that day.  I now feel I should have told you of the impact your behaviour had on me, but I did not do so.

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If I had had a greater knowledge of Woke religious beliefs, I might not have been as surprised and shocked as I was by the events that unfolded after I sent my letter to Anne Ryan. 

It is now nearly 4 years since those events took place so I have become accustomed to the vile behaviour of Anne Ryan and our former friends.  Nevertheless, I still find their behaviour truly shocks me to the very centre of my being.

I assume my certainty that every single human being matters, prevents me from accepting a belief system where no one matters except those who subscribe to the Woke religion.

I find it strange that the Wokists savagely criticise the Catholic Church for burning heretics in past centuries, while not recognising that their own conduct is the same as burning heretics at the stake, but with the sole difference that heretics (like myself) are reluctantly permitted to keep breathing.

In my case though, my ability to keep breathing was savagely diminished.

 

126 – Cancelled, Part 1: 23 December 2024

 

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I loved every moment with Margaret.  These photos of us date from our 2001 house warming.  We both glowed.

The cancer and our cancellation were then 20 years away.

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Our cancellation began on 26 January 2021 – the Australia Day public holiday.  That day supercharged my health decline and brought me to the edge of death.  My decline was so rapid and severe that for months, it was probable I would die long before Margaret did.

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The Australia Day public holiday is celebrated on 26 January.  The First Fleet of British settlers consisting of British convicts, their guards and the ship crews landed at Sydney Cove on 26 January 1788.  The Commonwealth of Australia would not exist if that event had not happened.

Before 2021, the date of Australia Day had been slated. 

The Woke Folk claim Australia Day commemorates the beginning of a British “invasion” of Australia. 

This claim is garbage. 

I am proudly Australian and the historical fact is that Australia exists only because of the arrival of the First Fleet on 26 January 1778.  Like former Australian Prime Minister John Howard, I reject “the black armband view” of Australian history.

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Margaret and I did have things to celebrate that Australia Day; but our barbecue was not a celebration.  It was a farewell. 

We celebrated the simple fact that Margaret had finished her chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  We were both exhausted by the treatment program, but we knew our exhaustion would deepen in the immediate future.  Margaret was doomed to die shortly.  We were unlikely to again be able to invite our friends and say goodbye. 

So, we held the barbecue and I did most of the work because Margaret had completed chemotherapy and radiotherapy a mere 4 full days earlier. 

We held a barbecue and invited our friends so we could say goodbye and celebrate the conclusion of the treatment program. 

January is our middle month of summer and most of South Australia is desert.  Because South Australia is a desert State, rain in January is very unusual and temperatures often exceed 30 Celsius (80 Fahrenheit).  Maximum temperatures between 30 and 45 Celsius (80 and 113 Fahrenheit) are common.

We got lucky on 26 January 2021.  The maximum temperature was 23 Celsius (73.4 Fahrenheit) at 6:00 pm.  The weather was perfect for our gathering.

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I cooked a leg of pork and a leg of lamb on the barbecue.  We prepared a mountain of food.  Our guests began arriving at 11:00 am and Anne Ryan was our most honoured guest.  Back in 2021, she had been my friend for more than 20 years and Margaret’s friend for 40 years.

Unfortunately, neither of us realised that Anne was a Woke True Believer and that for her, friendship came a distant second should any of her friends contradict her Woke beliefs.

That day in 2021, I had no idea what the word “Woke” meant.  I had no idea that true believers in the Woke religion thought that those who did not share their religion should be cast into eternal damnation and shunned.

I know better now.  

I learned the truth about Woke true believers by experiencing the cancellation reserved for those who do not share Woke religious beliefs.

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After she arrived, Anne told me the date of Australia Day should be changed - and she made sure her opinion was known to all our guests. 

I was cooking outside when Anne asserted that the date of Australia Day had been selected only in 1994 and that the date should be changed from 26 January.  I told her I had lived nearly all of my life in Australia and that Australia Day had always been on 26 January during my lifetime.

To understand what she said next, you need to be aware Anne Ryan has dual Australian/ Irish citizenship.

Instead of amicably disagreeing with me - her 20 years plus friend - Anne likened the celebration of Australia Day on 26 January to the celebration of “King Billy’s Day” as a national holiday in Ireland. 

King Billy’s Day is celebrated annually on 12 July in Northern Ireland.

King Billy’s Day celebrates the lifting of the siege of Derry by forces of the English King William in 1690.  If this whole discussion sounds ludicrous, I too thought this in 2021. 

I told Anne I could not see any similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory by English military forces over the Irish and the beginning of the Protestant domination of Ireland.  I said nothing like that had happened in Australia on 26 January 1788. 

I was in a good mood.  Margaret was still going to die from cancer, but she had just finished six continuous weeks of exceptionally hard treatment.  This was not a day for unhappiness or argument.

Unfortunately, I knew nothing about the Woke religion and its true believers.

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I was shocked when Anne Ryan said “I am not going to listen to this”.

She then stood up and went back inside our home. 

I had never before seen her behave in such a shabby, astonishingly rude fashion.  She had often mouthed the platitudes of free speech, but on that day I said something she disagreed with and her claimed support for free speech – even when it involved a close friend whose wife was dying – disappeared. 

Anne Ryan got angry, stormed away, ended any rational discussion and immediately began to shun me. 

I was not offended by Anne’s opinions, but I was shocked by her rudeness and arrogance. 

Anne avoided me for the rest of the day. 

I was extremely shocked and made no attempt to talk to her.

****

Anne’s behaviour had very nasty consequences for me.

One hour after the barbecue finished, I got diarrhea and an optical migraine at the same time.  My optical migraines put pressure on my eyes and give me streaks of jagged lightning bolts across the eyes.  When the migraine was at its peak, severe stomach bloat plus continuous burping and hiccupping set in. 

I was so ill I didn’t hear my phone ring when my son rang to ask how we were going.

The diarrhea continued for most of the night and my sleep was nearly impossible.  I was still awake and hiccupping at 1:00 am.  I got up and dozed on the sofa from 3:30 am to 5:20 am. 

My symptoms that day were the worst I had ever experienced.

Our cancellation had begun. 

****

This is a photo of Margaret with Anne Ryan on 8 April 2018.  Margaret was shocked when Anne cancelled her when she was dying in January 2021.