129 – Cancelled, Part 4: 27 December 2024

This is a photo of Chris Reilly at our housewarming in 2001.  Chris was the husband of the beautiful Sue Marshall who came to the housewarming with Chris.  Chris Reilly was an honoured guest at out barbecue on 26 January 2021.  He was sitting next to me when Anne Ryan ranted about Australia Day.  Chris Reilly eagerly joined the Cancellation Crew organised by Anne Ryan.  He attended Margaret’s funeral but refused to speak to me and I became aware he was present only when I accidentally met him after the funeral had finished.

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This photo shows Chris Reilly and Sue Marshall at the 2001 housewarming.  Sue always had a beautiful smile for everyone she met, even after she was given her terminal cancer diagnosis.  Chris Reilly always found it much harder to be welcoming to any people except Sue.

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Margaret and I loved each other from the first moment we met.  This is us at our housewarming.

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This is a copy of the letter dated 27 January 2021 that I sent to Anne Ryan on 28 January.  This letter was the excuse used by Anne Ryan to cancel both me and Margaret.  Anne Ryan also ensured that all of our friends – whom she knew only because Margaret introduced them to Anne – also cancelled both Margaret and me.  

At the date of the cancellation. Margaret was expecting to die in the immediate future and she had just finished 6 weeks of chemotherapy and radiotherapy which we hoped would extend her life by perhaps 2 months.  That made no difference to the cancellation.  The cancellation was ruthlessly enforced.

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Wednesday 27 January 2021   Dear Anne,   Re: Why I Have Decided Not to Walk At Morialta   I am supposed to walk with you and Mary at Morialta on Friday 29 January but I have decided that I will not walk with you at Morialta on Friday.  I would prefer to verbalise in your presence, what I say in this letter and I have seriously considered trying to say this to your face, but I know my emotions would get in the way and the words would all come out wrong.  As an alternative, I will try and explain in writing in this letter. Yesterday, you were an extremely welcome guest at our home for an Australia Day barbecue.  I was outside on the decking doing the cooking when you arrived, but you came outside and sat at the outside table talking to me and Chris Reilly.  While you were outside, you raised the topic of the date of Australia Day and the fact that some people prefer to call it invasion day.  Amongst other things, you said that the concept of Australia Day dated back only to 1994 and that you thought the date should be altered to a different date from that on which the First Fleet arrived in Sydney in 1788.  I said that I had lived in Australia all of my life and that Australia Day had always been celebrated on the same date throughout my lifetime.  You then said that celebrating Australia Day on 26 January was similar to the celebration of King Billy’s Day in Northern Ireland on 14 March (I may have that specific date not quite correct).  I said that I could not see the similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory over the Irish by English forces and the triumph of the Irish Protestants in Ireland.  I said that Australia had not experienced an event similar to this on 26 January 1788. To my complete shock, you then said “I am not going to listen to this”, stood up and went back into the house. There was another occasion in late 2020 when your behaviour also shocked and surprised me. On the last occasion that I was able to walk with you and Mary at Morialta, we were in the car and nearly at Morialta.  In general conversation I said that I liked the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland because they did not try and use their gender but simply did the job they were elected to do.  Your immediate response to this was to claim I had said something “sexist” because I would never have said this about a male politician.  I replied that you had been listening to ABC radio too much and you should broaden your range of listening. You then spoke about the troubles of Angela Merkel in Germany and Ursula von der Leyen and the difficulties based upon their gender that they had when they began doing their respective jobs.  For the record, I had never heard of Ursula von der Leyen apart from being vaguely aware she had something to do with the European Union.  I again commented that you had been listening to ABC radio too much.  I also said that what I had said about the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland was in substance the same as what you had just said about Angela Merkel and Ursula von der Leyen, but that you had “dropped on me from a great height” for saying the same as you. I was extremely upset that someone I treasure as a close friend should accuse me of being “sexist”.  I was about to tell you to stop the car so I could get out, but before I could do this, you realised you had upset me and said you were sorry.  I believe you had no idea why I was upset and that you just felt you needed to defuse an uncomfortable situation. I did not really enjoy the walk that day.  I now feel I should have told you of the impact your behaviour had on me, but I did not do so. Now to return to what happened yesterday. By walking away and saying that you were not going to listen any more to what I was saying, you were in effect saying that if I say anything that you disagree with, you have the right to claim that you are upset by what I am saying and I must in future take care never to say anything that you disagree with.  This is called censorship.  Put another way, even though you perhaps tell yourself you are a champion of free speech, you are only prepared to let people speak freely if they say things you agree with.  If I ever say something you disagree with, you will close down my views by refusing to listen and by claiming that you find them personally upsetting. For the record, this is a vile tactic and I refuse to co-operate with it. In addition to making me feel that a treasured friend has decided my ideas are so worthless they should not be listened to, your actions in choking off my ability to voice my thoughts also had a direct physical impact on me. You may or may not be aware that I have suffered considerable physical discomfort during the weeks and months since Margie was diagnosed with Ampullar cancer.  This discomfort was particularly acute over the 7 weeks that she underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy.  My physical discomfort has manifested as severe diarrhea, periodic shortness of breath, sudden, severe bloating and severe discomfort caused by the bloating.  When I get the bloating, hard experience tells me I will not be able to get any sleep that night. Until yesterday, the bloating, diarrhea and shortness of breath had drifted into the past (it was about 3 weeks since my last episode).  My 3 weeks of relief from these symptoms came to an abrupt end about one hour after everyone had left our place yesterday.  The diarrhea started again.  Adding some spice to the mix, I also got an optical migraine.  This is like a migraine but without the headache.  It sounds harmless enough but it can be quite debilitating.  I get pressure on the eyes and visual symptoms - usually jagged lightning bolts obscuring my vision.  Then the stomach went into full bloating mode.  It swelled and I started burping and continuously hiccupping.  Later that night, I didn’t even hear the phone ring when my son Chris rang to say hello.  I was too busy hoping that I would send only bowel contents (and not parts of my bowel) down the toilet. I did legs up the wall for 15 minutes at about 9:00 pm hoping it would settle my body down.  It did help but not for long.  By 1:00 am I was still awake and hiccupping continuously and realising that it would be yet another no sleep night and that if I stayed in bed, it would simply guarantee that Margie got no sleep either.  So I got up, closed the bedroom door to try and insulate her from my noise and tried dozing on the couch. I did finally drift off on the couch at about 3:30 am and woke at about 5:20 am. Telling you about these physical consequences is not meant to try and get sympathy.  I am trying to point out that there are physical consequences for everything that every one of us does.  You might think claiming to be offended at what I say it is a reasonable way of silencing views that you disagree with.  I do not.  I profoundly believe that every person who is not expressing support for violence has the right to say whatever he or she wants.  I believe that the world is a far better place where people are able to say what they think because in the middle of the babble of views, deep truths may emerge.  No matter how unlikely you think it is that you might be wrong, much of what you and I think, has a high chance of being wrong.  When one person accurately points out reality, the reality being pointed out does not cease to be true simply because everyone else in the world thinks otherwise.  Reality does not depend on whether or not other people accept it as “true”.  Reality always remains “true” no matter how many people genuinely believe otherwise.  None of us see more than a small slice of the whole of reality. Your preference to avoid views that contradict your own, reminds me of lyrics from an old Monkees song.   With slight amendments, the lyrics reflect your apparent attitude to views that differ from your own. “Why don’t you cut your hair? Why don’t you live up there? Why don’t you do what I do?  Think what I think when I care?”   So that is what I have to say.  I can’t walk at Morialta with someone who thinks my views are so worthless that I should not be allowed to express them.  This is profoundly upsetting for me, but I am not willing to do things that might well result in more emotional distress for me and create a real possibility of more horrible nights like Tuesday night.   John

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By 8 February 2021, both Margaret and I were cancelled.  Margaret is now dead.  I am alive but I remain cancelled.

 

128 – Cancelled, Part 3: 24 December 2024

This photo shows me with the exceptionally wonderful Sue Marshall.  Sue had cancer and was dying when this was taken. 

Sue’s widower was Christopher Reilly.  He was sitting next to me when on the barbecue day, Anne Ryan flounced her hair (literally) just like Miss Piggy on The Muppets, stood up, said “I am not going to listen to this” and then flounced her way back into my home.

Chris Reilly promptly joined the Cancellation Crew.  He knew exactly how Anne Ryan had behaved, and he completely approved her awful behaviour.

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This is the second half of the letter I sent to Anne Ryan on 28 January 2021

Now to return to what happened yesterday. By walking away and saying that you were not going to listen any more to what I was saying, you were in effect saying that if I say anything that you disagree with, you have the right to claim that you are upset by what I am saying and I must in future take care never to say anything that you disagree with.  This is called censorship.  Put another way, even though you perhaps tell yourself you are a champion of free speech, you are only prepared to let people speak freely if they say things you agree with.  If I ever say something you disagree with, you will close down my views by refusing to listen and by claiming that you find them personally upsetting. For the record, this is a vile tactic and I refuse to co-operate with it. In addition to making me feel that a treasured friend has decided my ideas are so worthless they should not be listened to, your actions in choking off my ability to voice my thoughts also had a direct physical impact on me. You may or may not be aware that I have suffered considerable physical discomfort during the weeks and months since Margie was diagnosed with Ampullar cancer.  This discomfort was particularly acute over the 7 weeks that she underwent radiotherapy and chemotherapy.  My physical discomfort has manifested as severe diarrhea, periodic shortness of breath, sudden, severe bloating and severe discomfort caused by the bloating.  When I get the bloating, hard experience tells me I will not be able to get any sleep that night. Until yesterday, the bloating, diarrhea and shortness of breath had drifted into the past (it was about 3 weeks since my last episode).  My 3 weeks of relief from these symptoms came to an abrupt end about one hour after everyone had left our place yesterday.  The diarrhea started again.  Adding some spice to the mix, I also got an optical migraine.  This is like a migraine but without the headache.  It sounds harmless enough but it can be quite debilitating.  I get pressure on the eyes and visual symptoms - usually jagged lightning bolts obscuring my vision.  Then the stomach went into full bloating mode.  It swelled and I started burping and continuously hiccupping.  Later that night, I didn’t even hear the phone ring when my son Chris rang to say hello.  I was too busy hoping that I would send only bowel contents (and not parts of my bowel) down the toilet. I did legs up the wall for 15 minutes at about 9:00 pm hoping it would settle my body down.  It did help but not for long.  By 1:00 am I was still awake and hiccupping continuously and realising that it would be yet another no sleep night and that if I stayed in bed, it would simply guarantee that Margie got no sleep either.  So I got up, closed the bedroom door to try and insulate her from my noise and tried dozing on the couch. I did finally drift off on the couch at about 3:30 am and woke at about 5:20 am. Telling you about these physical consequences is not meant to try and get sympathy.  I am trying to point out that there are physical consequences for everything that every one of us does.  You might think claiming to be offended at what I say it is a reasonable way of silencing views that you disagree with.  I do not.  I profoundly believe that every person who is not expressing support for violence has the right to say whatever he or she wants.  I believe that the world is a far better place where people are able to say what they think because in the middle of the babble of views, deep truths may emerge.  No matter how unlikely you think it is that you might be wrong, much of what you and I think, has a high chance of being wrong.  When one person accurately points out reality, the reality being pointed out does not cease to be true simply because everyone else in the world thinks otherwise.  Reality does not depend on whether or not other people accept it as “true”.  Reality always remains “true” no matter how many people genuinely believe otherwise.  None of us see more than a small slice of the whole of reality. Your preference to avoid views that contradict your own, reminds me of lyrics from an old Monkees song   With slight amendments, the lyrics reflect your apparent attitude to views that differ from your own. “Why don’t you cut your hair? Why don’t you live up there? Why don’t you do what I do?  Think what I think when I care?”   So that is what I have to say.  I can’t walk at Morialta with someone who thinks my views are so worthless that I should not be allowed to express them.  This is profoundly upsetting for me, but I am not willing to do things that might well result in more emotional distress for me and create a real possibility of more horrible nights like Tuesday night.   John

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What follows are exact copies of the texts which we exchanged on 28 January after I sent my letter dated 27 January 2021.

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Text from Anne received 10.17 am Thursday 28 January.

I read your email and I recognise everything you said.  I’m so sorry you had such a bad physical reaction.  I have no idea what to do about our political differences or about this rift.

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Text from me to Anne Ryan sent 10.35 am 28 January.

I do not know what to do either but do treasure the friendship.

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Text from Anne to me sent 10.37 am 28 January.

Me too.  We probably need to talk at some stage and look for a solution,

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Text from me to Anne sent 10.39 am 28 January.

Yes.  Let it be for now.

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Text from Anne to me sent 10.39 am on 28 January.

I think that is a good plan.

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The exchange of texts led me to think it might be possible to salvage something from the friendship wreckage created by Anne Ryan’s behaviour.  

I was wrong.  

I knew nothing about the Woke religious Cult.

 

127 – Cancelled, Part 2: 24 December 2024

Margaret was unable to quit smoking but I loved every aspect of her, including her inability to stop smoking.  Margaret did not have cancer when this photo was taken.

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Our love was mutual.  Every moment of every day, I knew with complete certainty that Margaret loved me at least as much as I loved her.  Our love for each other grew with every year we lived together.

If anything, the horrific events that followed the barbecue on 26 January 2021 strengthened and deepened our love for each other.

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I commenced writing a letter to Anne Ryan on the day after the barbecue.  My letter told her the impact her behaviour had had on me. 

I sent my letter by email at 10.01 am on Thursday the 28^th.  I received a reply by text almost immediately at 10.17 am.

I read your email and I recognise everything you said.  I’m so sorry you had such a bad physical reaction.  I have no idea what to do about our political differences or about this rift.

This is the first half of the letter that I sent to Anne Ryan at 10.01 am on that Thursday.  I will reproduce the second half of my letter in the next Blog.

I point out that when Anne said she “recognise[d] everything [I] said”, she confirmed the accuracy of the summary of the facts I set out in my letter.

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Wednesday 27 January 2021   Dear Anne,   Re: Why I Have Decided Not to Walk At Morialta   I am supposed to walk with you and Mary at Morialta on Friday 29 January but I have decided that I will not walk with you at Morialta on Friday.  I would prefer to verbalise in your presence, what I say in this letter and I have seriously considered trying to say this to your face, but I know my emotions would get in the way and the words would all come out wrong.  As an alternative, I will try and explain in writing in this letter. Yesterday, you were an extremely welcome guest at our home for an Australia Day barbecue.  I was outside on the decking doing the cooking when you arrived, but you came outside and sat at the outside table talking to me and Chris Reilly.  While you were outside, you raised the topic of the date of Australia Day and the fact that some people prefer to call it invasion day.  Amongst other things, you said that the concept of Australia Day dated back only to 1994 and that you thought the date should be altered to a different date from that on which the First Fleet arrived in Sydney in 1788.  I said that I had lived in Australia all of my life and that Australia Day had always been celebrated on the same date throughout my lifetime.  You then said that celebrating Australia Day on 26 January was similar to the celebration of King Billy’s Day in Northern Ireland on 14 March (I may have that specific date not quite correct).  I said that I could not see the similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory over the Irish by English forces and the triumph of the Irish Protestants in Ireland.  I said that Australia had not experienced an event similar to this on 26 January 1788. To my complete shock, you then said “I am not going to listen to this”, stood up and went back into the house. There was another occasion in late 2020 when your behaviour also shocked and surprised me. On the last occasion that I was able to walk with you and Mary at Morialta, we were in the car and nearly at Morialta.  In general conversation I said that I liked the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland because they did not try and use their gender but simply did the job they were elected to do.  Your immediate response to this was to claim I had said something “sexist” because I would never have said this about a male politician.  I replied that you had been listening to ABC radio too much and you should broaden your range of listening. You then spoke about the troubles of Angela Merkel in Germany and Ursula von der Leyen and the difficulties based upon their gender that they had when they began doing their respective jobs.  For the record, I had never heard of Ursula von der Leyen apart from being vaguely aware she had something to do with the European Union.  I again commented that you had been listening to ABC radio too much.  I also said that what I had said about the Premiers of New South Wales and Queensland was in substance the same as what you had just said about Angela Merkel and Ursula von der Leyen, but that you had “dropped on me from a great height” for saying the same as you. I was extremely upset that someone I treasure as a close friend should accuse me of being “sexist”.  I was about to tell you to stop the car so I could get out, but before I could do this, you realised you had upset me and said you were sorry.  I believe you had no idea why I was upset and that you just felt you needed to defuse an uncomfortable situation. I did not really enjoy the walk that day.  I now feel I should have told you of the impact your behaviour had on me, but I did not do so.

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If I had had a greater knowledge of Woke religious beliefs, I might not have been as surprised and shocked as I was by the events that unfolded after I sent my letter to Anne Ryan. 

It is now nearly 4 years since those events took place so I have become accustomed to the vile behaviour of Anne Ryan and our former friends.  Nevertheless, I still find their behaviour truly shocks me to the very centre of my being.

I assume my certainty that every single human being matters, prevents me from accepting a belief system where no one matters except those who subscribe to the Woke religion.

I find it strange that the Wokists savagely criticise the Catholic Church for burning heretics in past centuries, while not recognising that their own conduct is the same as burning heretics at the stake, but with the sole difference that heretics (like myself) are reluctantly permitted to keep breathing.

In my case though, my ability to keep breathing was savagely diminished.

 

126 – Cancelled, Part 1: 23 December 2024

 

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I loved every moment with Margaret.  These photos of us date from our 2001 house warming.  We both glowed.

The cancer and our cancellation were then 20 years away.

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Our cancellation began on 26 January 2021 – the Australia Day public holiday.  That day supercharged my health decline and brought me to the edge of death.  My decline was so rapid and severe that for months, it was probable I would die long before Margaret did.

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The Australia Day public holiday is celebrated on 26 January.  The First Fleet of British settlers consisting of British convicts, their guards and the ship crews landed at Sydney Cove on 26 January 1788.  The Commonwealth of Australia would not exist if that event had not happened.

Before 2021, the date of Australia Day had been slated. 

The Woke Folk claim Australia Day commemorates the beginning of a British “invasion” of Australia. 

This claim is garbage. 

I am proudly Australian and the historical fact is that Australia exists only because of the arrival of the First Fleet on 26 January 1778.  Like former Australian Prime Minister John Howard, I reject “the black armband view” of Australian history.

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Margaret and I did have things to celebrate that Australia Day; but our barbecue was not a celebration.  It was a farewell. 

We celebrated the simple fact that Margaret had finished her chemotherapy and radiotherapy.  We were both exhausted by the treatment program, but we knew our exhaustion would deepen in the immediate future.  Margaret was doomed to die shortly.  We were unlikely to again be able to invite our friends and say goodbye. 

So, we held the barbecue and I did most of the work because Margaret had completed chemotherapy and radiotherapy a mere 4 full days earlier. 

We held a barbecue and invited our friends so we could say goodbye and celebrate the conclusion of the treatment program. 

January is our middle month of summer and most of South Australia is desert.  Because South Australia is a desert State, rain in January is very unusual and temperatures often exceed 30 Celsius (80 Fahrenheit).  Maximum temperatures between 30 and 45 Celsius (80 and 113 Fahrenheit) are common.

We got lucky on 26 January 2021.  The maximum temperature was 23 Celsius (73.4 Fahrenheit) at 6:00 pm.  The weather was perfect for our gathering.

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I cooked a leg of pork and a leg of lamb on the barbecue.  We prepared a mountain of food.  Our guests began arriving at 11:00 am and Anne Ryan was our most honoured guest.  Back in 2021, she had been my friend for more than 20 years and Margaret’s friend for 40 years.

Unfortunately, neither of us realised that Anne was a Woke True Believer and that for her, friendship came a distant second should any of her friends contradict her Woke beliefs.

That day in 2021, I had no idea what the word “Woke” meant.  I had no idea that true believers in the Woke religion thought that those who did not share their religion should be cast into eternal damnation and shunned.

I know better now.  

I learned the truth about Woke true believers by experiencing the cancellation reserved for those who do not share Woke religious beliefs.

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After she arrived, Anne told me the date of Australia Day should be changed - and she made sure her opinion was known to all our guests. 

I was cooking outside when Anne asserted that the date of Australia Day had been selected only in 1994 and that the date should be changed from 26 January.  I told her I had lived nearly all of my life in Australia and that Australia Day had always been on 26 January during my lifetime.

To understand what she said next, you need to be aware Anne Ryan has dual Australian/ Irish citizenship.

Instead of amicably disagreeing with me - her 20 years plus friend - Anne likened the celebration of Australia Day on 26 January to the celebration of “King Billy’s Day” as a national holiday in Ireland. 

King Billy’s Day is celebrated annually on 12 July in Northern Ireland.

King Billy’s Day celebrates the lifting of the siege of Derry by forces of the English King William in 1690.  If this whole discussion sounds ludicrous, I too thought this in 2021. 

I told Anne I could not see any similarity because King Billy’s Day celebrated a military victory by English military forces over the Irish and the beginning of the Protestant domination of Ireland.  I said nothing like that had happened in Australia on 26 January 1788. 

I was in a good mood.  Margaret was still going to die from cancer, but she had just finished six continuous weeks of exceptionally hard treatment.  This was not a day for unhappiness or argument.

Unfortunately, I knew nothing about the Woke religion and its true believers.

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I was shocked when Anne Ryan said “I am not going to listen to this”.

She then stood up and went back inside our home. 

I had never before seen her behave in such a shabby, astonishingly rude fashion.  She had often mouthed the platitudes of free speech, but on that day I said something she disagreed with and her claimed support for free speech – even when it involved a close friend whose wife was dying – disappeared. 

Anne Ryan got angry, stormed away, ended any rational discussion and immediately began to shun me. 

I was not offended by Anne’s opinions, but I was shocked by her rudeness and arrogance. 

Anne avoided me for the rest of the day. 

I was extremely shocked and made no attempt to talk to her.

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Anne’s behaviour had very nasty consequences for me.

One hour after the barbecue finished, I got diarrhea and an optical migraine at the same time.  My optical migraines put pressure on my eyes and give me streaks of jagged lightning bolts across the eyes.  When the migraine was at its peak, severe stomach bloat plus continuous burping and hiccupping set in. 

I was so ill I didn’t hear my phone ring when my son rang to ask how we were going.

The diarrhea continued for most of the night and my sleep was nearly impossible.  I was still awake and hiccupping at 1:00 am.  I got up and dozed on the sofa from 3:30 am to 5:20 am. 

My symptoms that day were the worst I had ever experienced.

Our cancellation had begun. 

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This is a photo of Margaret with Anne Ryan on 8 April 2018.  Margaret was shocked when Anne cancelled her when she was dying in January 2021.

 

125 – Treating Margaret’s Cancer, Part 2: 22 December 2024

I used these two photos in yesterday's Blog Number 124 posted on 21 December 2024.  I like them so much I am using them again in this Blog, but I am putting yesterday's second photo in first place.  

As I said yesterday, I took this photo of Margaret in 2001 for our housewarming celebration.  Margaret looks so very healthy and beautiful.

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In this 2001 photo, Margaret was 51 years old and so full of life.  She definitely had no cancer inside her when we had our house warming celebration.  If you look closely at Margaret’s eyes, you will notice she has no eyebrows.  Her eyebrows disappeared when she started mixing up chemotherapy for her patients as directed by the treating doctors.  In these two photos, Margaret’s “eyebrows” have been replaced by makeup.

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Before the chemotherapy could start on 7 December 2020, a plastic tube had to be inserted into Margaret’s arm and manoeuvred into the position specified by the treating doctors.  The insertion of the treatment tube was supposed to be performed by a doctor at Dr Jones & Partners in the building where the cancer clinic was located. 

I drove Margaret to Dr Jones & Partners in the morning.  Chemotherapy was scheduled to start in the afternoon.  I waited while Margaret was taken for the procedure.  After about 30 minutes, Margaret was escorted back to me by a nurse.  The doctor at Dr Jones & Partners had been unable to carry out the procedure.  The nurse was extremely kind and made phone calls to find somewhere that would be able to do this procedure that had to be carried out before any chemotherapy could commence.  She found a private hospital in central Adelaide which would carry out the procedure that day before the scheduled chemotherapy.

I drove into the city and to the hospital.  When it was over, Margaret told me that the tube insertion procedure had been done successfully – but not by a doctor.  The nurses at the private hospital had successfully done what the doctor at Dr Jones & Partners had been unable to do.

I drove back to the clinic so Margaret could have the first session of chemotherapy.  This first session of chemotherapy was in effect a “test run”.  Margaret had to be under medical supervision throughout the first few hours of the chemotherapy in case she had an adverse reaction. 

I sat in a chair next to Margaret while the chemotherapy dripped into her.  Unexpectedly, my phone rang.  The nurse from Dr Jones & Partners asked if the procedure at the city hospital had gone as hoped.  I gratefully told her that all was well, we were in the same building and Margaret was having the chemotherapy at that very moment.

I do not know the name of the nurse who enabled Margaret’s chemotherapy to take place without it being delayed by the initial failure to insert the chemotherapy tube.  I do not know your name, but I can say a heartfelt “Thank you” to this kind hearted stranger who truly cared about the fate of someone she had never met before and might never meet again.  “Thank you”.

We had arrived at the clinic at about 8.00 am on Monday 7 December 2020.  We finally got home at about 6.00 pm.  I was exhausted and I did not endure the procedures to insert the chemotherapy tube, the radiotherapy or the chemotherapy.  Margaret was so tired she could barely move.

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Fortunately, the remaining weeks of the treatment did not require such extremely long days.  For the most part, the daily administration of the radiotherapy took only about 30 minutes once we got to the clinic. 

Our daily trips to the radiotherapy clinic definitely had an unnerving element.  The treatment took place in the 3 weeks leading up to the Christmas festive season and all of the clinics in the complex were decorated with Christmas decorations. 

I felt no trace of festive emotion.  I only wanted my wife to be able to live.  That was the only Christmas gift I wanted.  Nothing else mattered.

Showering was difficult during the treatment. 

Margaret had to completely cover her arm so water could not get into her medical incisions.

I insisted on being present in the bathroom while Margaret showered.  She was extremely weak and I was terrified that she might fall while showering.  Fortunately, this did not happen.

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As detailed in Blog 124, the first week of the treatment saw us do a daily pilgrimage so Margaret could be hit with radiation that would (we hoped) wipe out the cancer.  Treatments took place on these days in week one.

·                                Monday 7 December 2020; ·                                Tuesday 8 December 2020; ·                                Wednesday 9 December 2020; ·                                Thursday 10 December 2020; and ·                                Friday 11 December 2020.

 

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In week two, the chemotherapy bag was exhausted by Monday 14 December so Margaret had two medical procedures that day – replacement of the chemotherapy bag plus another zap of radiotherapy.  I found this week so very difficult.  There were Christmas decorations everywhere and Margaret was receiving treatment that might – if we were lucky – give her another few months of life.  I had no joy in my heart.  Treatments took place on the following dates.

·                                Monday 14 December 2020; ·                                Tuesday 15 December 2020; ·                                Wednesday 16 December 2020; ·                                Thursday 17 December 2020; and ·                                Friday 18 December 2020.

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Week 3 saw replacement of the chemotherapy bag on Monday 21 December and radiotherapy on these dates.

·                                Monday 21 December 2020; ·                                Tuesday 22 December 2020; ·                                Wednesday 23 December 2020; and ·                                Thursday 24 December 2020.

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Friday 25 December was a public holiday and there was no treatment.  I cannot remember what we did to “celebrate” Christmas.  

The next batch of treatments started on Monday 28 December when the chemotherapy bag was replaced and more radiotherapy administered.  That week the treatments were on these dates.

·                                Monday 28 December 2020; and ·                                Tuesday 29 December 2020.

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The week 5 treatments were delayed by the New Year celebrations.  The chemotherapy bag was replaced on Monday 4 January 2021 and radiotherapy administered on these dates.

·                                Monday 4 January 2021; ·                                Tuesday 5 January 2021; ·                                Wednesday 6 January 2021; ·                                Thursday 7 January 2021; and ·                                Friday 8 January 2021.

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Week 6 saw the treatments revert to a more regular pattern.  The chemotherapy bag was replaced on Monday 11 January and the radiotherapy reverted to daily.

·                                Monday 11 January 2021; ·                                Tuesday 12 January 2021; ·                                Wednesday 13 January 2021; ·                                Thursday 14 January 2021; and ·                                Friday 15 January 2021.

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Week 7 was the final treatment week.  The chemotherapy bag was replaced on Monday 18 January and the 3 final radiotherapy sessions took place as follows.

·                                Monday18 January 2021; ·                                Tuesday 19 January 2021; and ·                                Wednesday 20 January 2021.

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Our festive season was utterly horrible.