109 – Celebration of Friendship Part 2: 1 December 2024

Marg and I left for Ireland on Tuesday 13 August 2019.  I prepared a day by day itinerary summarising when and where we were going on our trip.  Our trip was based around staying at Anne Ryan’s house in Newbridge, but we had decided to also do a number of excursions to various parts of Ireland.  I spent Saturday 17 August to Wednesday 21 August visiting my uncle.  I had never met Uncle Eric before – except perhaps when I was too young to be able to remember meeting him.  Eric had unexpectedly sent me a message via the family tree that my brother Peter and I had been creating on ancestry and had invited me to stay with him for a few days while Margaret and I were in Ireland.  I eagerly accepted the invitation.

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My sneezing issues had got even worse by this stage.  Before checking into the Dublin Airport hotel in the evening before my trip to Liverpool on 17 August, I took part in a natural therapy based on the sound of bells and crystals to try and ensure I could be in Liverpool without sneezing my body into oblivion.  The therapy session did make it easier for me to stay in Liverpool, but the relief quickly faded once I returned to Ireland. 

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Now that I am able to look back on that trip to Ireland, it is obvious to me that Margaret’s health was already beginning to badly deteriorate.

This photo shows Margaret and me on Tuesday 3 September 2019.  On looking at me, I notice I look somewhat grim.  I have no conscious memory of feeling rim at that time.  Margaret’s expression looks forced.  I suspect she knew something was wrong, but was determined not to let it spoil her holiday. 

The neurological issues with Margaret’s back had become increasingly worse by this stage and Margaret had difficulty in engaging in the physical activities that she wanted to.  I was of course, thrilled to be in Ireland again with her. 

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This is a copy of the detailed itinerary I prepared setting out the details of our trip to Ireland in 2019.

Date	Where	What	Comments
Tuesday 13 August 2019	Adelaide Airport	Leave Adelaide on EK 441 at 21:50
Wednesday 14 August 2019	Dubai Airport	Arrive at 5:30 am and leave Dubai on EK161 at 7:15
Wednesday 14 August 2019	Dublin Airport	Arrive in Dublin at 12:05
Thursday 15 August 2019	Newbridge	Recover
Friday 16 August 2019	Newbridge	Recover	John overnighting in Radisson Blu Hotel at Dublin Airport
Saturday 17 August 2019	Newbridge & Liverpool	Marg in Newbridge; John goes to Liverpool to visit relatives	Leave for Liverpool on Ryanair flight FR 442 at 7:05 am, arriving in Liverpool at 8:00
Sunday 18 August 2019	Newbridge & Liverpool	Marg in Newbridge; John visiting relatives
Monday 19 August 2019	Newbridge & Liverpool	Marg in Newbridge; John visiting relatives
Tuesday 20 August 2019	Newbridge & Liverpool	Marg in Newbridge; John visiting relatives
Wednesday 21 August 2019	Newbridge & Liverpool	Marg in Newbridge; John returns to Newbridge from Liverpool	John returns to Dublin on Ryanair flight FR 447 at 19:10, arriving in Dublin at 20:05
Thursday 22 August 2019	Newbridge
Friday 23 August 2019
Saturday 24 August 2019
Sunday 25 August 2019	County Armagh	John and Marg drive to County Armagh and County Down.  Staying in The Whistledown Hotel, 6 Seaview Warrenpoint, County Down, Northern Ireland +44 28 4175 4174
Monday 26 August 2019	County Armagh – Public Holiday in Northern Ireland	The Whistledown in Warrenpoint	In and around County Armagh
Tuesday 27 August 2019	County Armagh	The Whistledown in Warrenpoint	In and around County Armagh
Wednesday 28 August 2019	County Armagh	The Whistledown in Warrenpoint	In and around County Armagh
Thursday 29 August 2019	Newbridge		Leave The Whistledown and return to Newbridge
Friday 30 August 2019	Newbridge
Saturday 31 August 2019	Newbridge
Sunday 1 September 2019	Donegal	Gateway Lodge, Killybegs Road Donegal Town, Donegal (+353 7497 40405)	John, Marg and Anne
Monday 2 September 2019		Gateway Lodge, Killybegs Road Donegal Town, Donegal (+353 7497 40405)	John, Marg and Anne
Tuesday 3 September 2019	Donegal	Gateway Lodge, Killybegs Road Donegal Town, Donegal (+353 7497 40405)	John, Marg and Anne
Wednesday 4 September 2019	Donegal	Gateway Lodge, Killybegs Road Donegal Town, Donegal (+353 7497 40405)	John, Marg and Anne
Thursday 5 September 2019	Donegal/ Newbridge	Check out from Gateway Lodge, Donegal Town.  Return to Newbridge	John, Marg Anne
Friday 6 September 2019	Newbridge
Saturday 7 September 2019	Newbridge
Sunday 8 September 2019	Newbridge
Monday 9 September 2019	Newbridge
Tuesday 10 September 2019	Newbridge
Wednesday 11 September 2019	Newbridge	Noreen and Andy arrive from Wales
Thursday 12 September 2019	Dublin Airport	Sue arrives
Friday 13 September 2019	Newbridge
Saturday 14 September 2019	Clew Bay Hotel, Westport, County Mayo	Walking and chilling out	Anne, Sue, Marg and John
Sunday 15 September 2019	Clew Bay Hotel, Westport, County Mayo	Walking and chilling out	Anne, Sue, Marg and John
Monday 16 September 2019	Clew Bay Hotel, Westport, County Mayo	Walking and chilling out	Anne, Sue, Marg and John
Tuesday 17 September 2019	Clew Bay Hotel, Westport, County Mayo	Walking and chilling out	Anne, Sue, Marg and John
Wednesday 18 September 2019	Clew Bay Hotel, Westport, County Mayo	Walking and chilling out	Anne, Sue, Marg and John
Thursday 19 September 2019	Newbridge		Leave Clew Bay Hotel and return to Newbridge
Friday 20 September 2019
Saturday 21 September 2019	Dublin	Leonard Cohen Concert
Sunday 22 September 2019		Killashee House Anniversary Dinner	Dinner, bed and breakfast in Killashee House
Monday 23 September 2019
Tuesday 24 September 2019	Dublin Airport	Leave on EK 162 for Dubai
Wednesday 25 September 2019	Dubai Airport	Arrive at 00:25 and leave for Adelaide on EK 440 for Adelaide
Wednesday 25 September 2019	Adelaide Airport	Arrive at 20:05

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Margaret’s great friend Sue Chapman arrived in Ireland on 12 September and she also stayed at Anne’s place in Newbridge.  I think it is likely that Ann and Sue had been lovers for quite some time by the time Sue arrived in Ireland, although they certainly hid the nature of their relationship.

Anne and Sue had arranged to have a holiday together in the English Channel Islands from Friday 27 September to Sunday 6 October 2019.

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During our holiday, Anne Ryan gave no hint of the appalling behaviour that she was to engage in from February 2021 onwards.  Everything was all sweetness and light.  Butter would never have dared to melt in her mouth.  This photo was taken on 3 September 2019 in County Donegal, Ireland.

Looking back, I conclude Anne did not want a friend who might cause her trouble by becoming seriously ill.  She only wanted a friend who was able to share the good times with.

my attitude is completely different.  If you are my friend, you are my friend forever - no matter what happens.  Anne's good time friendship attitude was not obvious then.  Nor was her love affair with Sue Chapman.  I assume that the vehemence of Sue Chapman's later cancellation of me and Margaret was fueled by her relationship with Anne Ryan.

 

108 – Celebration of Friendship, Staying Alive Part 8: 30 November 2024

In blog 106, I referred to our trip from Adelaide to Port Lincoln on Tuesday 30 April 2019 and to how Ann Ryan and Sue Chapman went with us.  The Port Lincoln trip was to celebrate my 70^th birthday.

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An earlier celebration of my birthday took place in the evening of Saturday 27 April 2019 at a restaurant overlooking Adelaide’s River Torrens.  In hindsight, I see this evening was the last occasion when the nearly complete friendship group gathered to have fun without the shadow of Margaret’s illness hanging over all of us.  Margaret looked very healthy in the restaurant.

Finding this photo of Margaret from just before she became deadly ill, has filled me with longing for a past that can never be relived.  Margaret looked so very healthy, yet even then, the cancer had probably already started its initial growth spurt.  During the 4 ½ years of life that Margaret then had left to her, she never again looked as healthy as she did that night.

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 Nes Fernandez also looked very healthy that evening.  The photo above is Nez on 27 April 2019.  Nez had a heart attack in 2013 and came close to death.

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The group of friends gave me a small statue of the Buddha as a birthday present.

 

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While in Port Lincoln, the four of us stayed in a rented apartment on the beachfront.  Margaret’s mobility was limited because of the neurological damage in her spine, but she and I had a wonderful time.  It was so very good to be with people who we believed – wrongly as found out later – were our very good friends.

Anne Ryan is on the left and Sue Chapman is on the right in this photo.   I took this photo on a walk along the beachfront at Port Lincoln.

 

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One of the reasons I love Port Lincoln is because of scenery just like this.

These waves were rolling into the shore just south of the town of Port Lincoln.

I took this photo just above from nearly the same spot as the preceding one.

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 Margaret loved being in Port Lincoln and her enjoyment of the trip was obvious.

  

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I never had any repeat of a sneeze attack of the same severity as that in Morialta in about July 2019, but my sneezing never went away.  It steadily accelerated.

I began to always carry two fresh handkerchiefs in my pockets and I always had to throw them into the laundry at the end of every day.  Usually, two handkerchiefs per day were not enough to soak up the great volumes of liquid produced every day by my nasal system. 

The sneeze always came several times per day and they came every day.  I never had a day when I was sneeze free. 

My stitch line from the heart operation continued to be under great strain and I had to take increasing care whenever I drank or ate anything.  If I suddenly sneezed while eating or drinking, whatever was in my mouth became a projectile which could easily hit anyone near me.  I began immediately clutching my chest whenever I detected a sneeze was about to make an appearance.  I felt it might prevent the chest from splitting open.  

Life became increasingly hard, but I did my best to ignore the sneezing.  I had no idea what was causing it, but I hoped vainly that if simply ignored it, it would eventually stop.

I was wrong of course.  

There was no possibility of the sneezing ever going away on its own, but I did not know that in mid 2019.

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Magaret watched me closely.  She knew I was in trouble, but she could not think of anything obvious that might be causing my sneezing.

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Apart from the sneezing, another disturbing symptom appeared in about September 2019..

It became increasingly impossible for me to breathe through my nose. 

At first, only one nostril appeared to be permanently blocked, but as time went by, it became impossible to breathe through either nostril.  I started exclusively breathing through my mouth.

Breathing through the mouth has at least one overwhelming factor in its favour.  Mouth breathing does enable air to get air into the body; but it is a poor substitute for breathing through the body part specifically designed to allow air to get into the system.  

We have noses and air passages because these are the main body parts designed to allow us to breathe.  Breathing through the mouth permanently is a little like relying on the backup generator for your main power source instead of relying on it for its primary function – as a backup.

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I have meditated for an hour every day since 2013.  As part of my daily meditation, I began to tell my body to unblock my nasal passages.  It was difficult, but at the end of an hour of meditation, I was usually successful in being able to breathe through both nostrils again.

Unfortunately, my mediation therapy was never successful for more than ten minutes after I had finished meditating.

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I was in trouble, but I tried to hide this from Margaret.

We had a holiday in Ireland coming up and I would not permit sneezing and breathing difficulties to get in the way of our holiday